Thirtieth Day

May 2004 - On a walk near my apartment in Oregon.  It's the pond behind my apartment.

So, another day has passed. Another weekend has passed.
I might be getting back to okay...YAY!
I feel like reading after work.

And tomorrow is payday!  I've been squeaking by in the last week. As much as I tried to NOT spend money, I still managed to spend a couple hundred on food and canvases.  Grrr.

I'm pondering Donald Trump.  The ban on refugees has people up in arms.
Me too.
It's not very American to ban refugees from a war torn country.
Not to mention, singling out Christians as the lot that will get special priority - that's definitely not American.  We are a secular government and don't make choices based on a person's religion.
And, it was rolled out in the most chaotic fashion imaginable.
Lots of crappy stuff about his Executive Order.

At the same time, I do favor a bit of a look see about people who want to come to our country to live.  I don't like when people who come here have ill intent against the United States.  It seems like they're taking advantage of our (generally) good nature.  If your sole purpose for coming to the United States is to hurt the United States - then I don't want you here.  We should look out for that lot.

But, those kinds of people could come here as tourists.
Are we going to check every tourist that comes to the US?
That's not gonna happen.

So - I think we have to err on the side of FREEDOM and our RULE OF LAW.

Twenty-ninth Day

Donald Trump signing an Executive Order on Friday January 27, 2017 to ban Syrian refugees from entering the United States indefinitely, and banning entry to US for people from Iran, Iraq, Sudan, Yemen, Syria, Libya and Somalia for the next 90 or 120 days.

Yesterday the !@#$ hit the fan when people traveling to the US were detained or turned away at the airport after Donald Trump's Executive Order.  There were protests at airports where people were detained, including Sea-Tac

Donald Trump's order is more wide reaching than previous bans, it wasn't in response to a specific incident, it didn't involve any of the countries where terrorists have come from (Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Pakistan et al), and it was hastily implemented so even people with Green Cards were unable to enter the US.

In addition, Donald Trump changed the people who are part of the National Security Council.  The NSC is the main forum a president can use to discuss national security and foreign policy issues. 

As of January 28, 2017 the Military Advisor (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff) no longer has permanent status on the NSC

As of January 28, 2017 the Intelligence Advisor (Director of National Intelligence) no longer has permanent status on the NSC

As of January 28, 2017 the White House Chief Strategist now has a permanent status on the NSC.

Why?  It doesn't make any sense that when you're having a discussion about National Security and Foreign Policy you would not require the Military and Intelligence Advisors be part of the discussion and you would want your White House Chief Strategist.

I guess a President is allowed to be advised by whoever he wants. And, the Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, and Secretary of Energy (a laughable Rick Perry who didn't even know the Energy Department is in charge of our nuclear stockpile) are part of the discussion so maybe Trump feels like that's all he needs.  

I'm concerned that Trump's national security and foreign affairs decisions will be based on politics rather than what is in the long term best interest of the United States - and humanity.

Here is a link to what Trump did yesterday from the Washington Post


And this

To be clear, I think people should follow the law when coming into this country (I don't get illegal immigration - I guess they often overstay their visas?), and I don't mind a process where people are vetted before granting green cards or whatever else we give people (see? I obviously don't know much about immigration and people coming to the US), but this policy of Donald Trump's is over-reaching and doesn't respect the nuances of life.  No refugees?  Christians get priority?  It's affecting people who have a legal right to be here.  This process requires more finesse than a political grand gesture, which is what Trump has done.  

Trying to keep up with this stuff was what I did yesterday.  

Also of note:  I always forget about the Australian Open because the time difference means I'm asleep when they're playing. When I DO try to watch, it's not live - it's three hours behind, so by the time the matches are on in the West Coast time zone - it's already over in real life.  

Even though I didn't watch - the championship matches promise to be classic battles.  

Venus Williams vs Serena Williams.  They're both over 30 and still play outstanding tennis.

Roger Federer vs Rafael Nadal.  Again, both over 30 and playing brilliantly.

We aren't likely to see those match-ups again.  Stunning.  (Serena and Roger won)

Twenty-eighth Day

In August 2009 my niece visited me in Portland.  We walked around parts of downtown.  This photo was from an antique store in that district between the Pearl and the River.  I can't remember what (if anything) it's called.  

Yesterday was Friday - TGIF!  Yee Haw!
I don't have anything to say.  I worked, I hibernated.

Donald Trump signed an Executive Order for a temporary ban on all entry from seven different nations; Iran, Yemen, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Somalia, and Sudan.  The current ban is for 90 days.  According to the linked article, this could be just the first step.  Trump thinks he's protecting US Citizens from terror.
So, one niggling thing - the Executive Order doesn't mention a Muslim ban specifically.
However, in his speeches he talks about protecting America from Islamic Terrorists.  Plus in an interview with The Brody File on CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) he said Christians would get special priority.  So - even if the actual Order doesn't say it, this is a ban on Muslim people - a religious test for entering the United States.

Issues:

• Retribution from the countries and their allies
• Syrians fleeing civil war
• Unlawful in US
• Mean-spirited; not representative of our national values (Statue of Liberty)
• Historical precedent shows its wrong - holocaust, Japanese internment
• Doesn't solve terrorist problem because most terrorists who come to US are not from these countries.

The execution of the order has been sloppy and confusing.  Within 24 hours people were already being detained.  It's like some people were all too happy to start detaining people.
There are court challenges to come.

Donald Trump is creating our worst dystopian nightmare.

Trump also spoke to five world leaders today (Saturday the 28th), including Vladimir Putin of Russia

Twenty-seventh Day

Water, sun on the rocks, Medina Beach, November 2013

Another day has passed.

I played cards last night.  

Work yesterday.

Still struggling a bit, but I think today will be better.

I'm looking forward to the weekend.

Maybe I can get myself in the right frame of mind to get back to the way I felt at the beginning of the new year.

There's a lot of stuff going on politically that I'd love to comment on, but I think it would take pages and pages, which isn't what this blog is for.

(Though, on that note, I notice it's becoming a sketchy diary of my days which is also not what this blog is for!)

Today is another march in Washington, except this time its Pro Life to protest Roe v Wade.  

Ugh.

I completely disagree with these people and I don't know why our country should base our laws on religious belief.

I don't even want to write it, but to be fair, the Pro Life group thinks this country supports murder because of Roe v Wade. If I thought the government was supporting murder I'd be protesting as well.

Come to think of it - I do:  Black Lives Matter, Guns, Environment.  

So - I have to give them their right to protest.

But, how will we ever get along?

I'm getting to the point where many of my fellow Americans don't have the same values I do.

We have to share some values in order to peacefully coexist in one country.

Otherwise, what are we doing it for?

What's so great about the United States as a country?  Why not break up?  I'm beginning to question these things because I don't see how I can coexist with people who disagree with me and won't compromise or collaborate. 

I'm willing to allow regulations on abortion, but I also want regulations on guns.  

What I hear is that the other side wants zero abortions and no restriction on guns.

How is that going to work?  How are we to live together?

I'll leave it at that for today.  Very sad.

Twenty-sixth Day

LJB gave me the Lucky Bamboo on the left when I moved from Oregon in Jun 2010. By the time of this photo (Nov 2013) its grown quite a bit.  I purchased the one on the right as a friend for the one on the left.  I'll take a picture of them again one of these days because they're both now quite a bit bigger!

I forgot to write in the am again this morning!
I'm a lump.
I got nothing.  Even when I called my Mom last night I didn't have anything to say.
I still don't.
I'm sorta frustrated with me and the world and the fact that I don't feel like doing anything.
I gotta get back into the spirit.

I'm adding this to the blog post because I think it's a damn fine picture of LJB. 

Twenty-fifth Day

Picture of the Space Needle the day I went to Seattle for King County jury duty.

Yesterday I read about TWO pages of my book.

I had one phone call about LJB from a friend; nothing with the family or others.

I've been putting photos of John on Facebook, but nobody else is.  I'm confused, I thought that's what people do.

I want to get back into the swing of my peaceful, productive days like the beginning of the year when I read a book and was calm. Almost there.

***

The beginning of Day Six of the Trump Administration

Trump causes official drama (Presidential actions below) and he causes unofficial drama (Twitter, believes the election he won was rigged with 3 - 5 million illegal votes and that's why he didn't win the popular vote)

As far as official drama through yesterday, according to WhiteHouse.gov, these are the things he’s done:

January 24, 2017

                Executive Order to expedite environmental approvals for High Priority Infrastructure projects. In other words, infrastructure is high on Trump’s list of priorities because it helps with jobs and our economy. Some of the projects (as requested by governors or agency heads) are to be considered high priority by the Chairman of the White House Council on Environmental Quality.  When that’s the case, the Chairman of the CEQ will expedite procedures and deadlines for completion of environmental reviews and approvals for the project. 

                Presidential Memorandum streamlining permitting and reducing regulatory burdens for domestic manufacturing.  In other words – because the Trump administration supports the expansion of domestic manufacturing, this memo advises Agency heads to expedite the reviews and reduce regulatory burdens that affect domestic manufacturing.  The Public has 60 days to contact the Secretary of Commerce to comment on the federal actions to streamline permitting.

                Presidential Memorandum regarding construction of pipelines.  In other words – materials and equipment (steel et al) used for pipelines located in the US be produced in the US.

                Presidential Memorandum regarding construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline. In other words – that pipeline is going through. TransCanada Keystone Pipeline L.P. can resubmit their application and all the agencies should consider it approved.

Presidential Memorandum regarding construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline. In other words – that pipeline is going through.  Dakota Access LLC has already submitted their applications and the project is mostly complete.  The Memorandum orders the Army Corps of Engineers to review and approve, in an expedited manner, the requests for approvals.

January 23, 2017

                Presidential Memorandum Regarding the Hiring Freeze.  In other words – The executive branch has a hiring freeze; no new civilian employees. There will be no vacancies filled and no new positions created (exceptions: military, and national security or public safety as approved by head of agency, and those positions that require Presidential appointment or Senate confirmation).  A plan will be prepared to reduce the Federal Government’s workforce through attrition. 

                Presidential Memorandum regarding withdrawal of the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership Negotiations and Agreement.  In other words – we will not be a signatory to the TPP.  Note: the treaty was not going to be approved by Congress anyway.

                Presidential Memorandum regarding the Mexico City policy.  In other words – a Foreign NGO must certify they will not perform or actively promote abortion as a method of family planning using funds from ANY source (including non-US funds) as a condition for receiving US government global family planning assistance.  This memorandum not only reactivates the policy (started in Reagan years and turned ‘on and off’ via Presidential Memorandum ever since) but expands the type of US Aid that will be at risk.  Now, an NGO must certify the abortion stuff in order to get ANY US global health assistance – including AIDS and Maternal and Child Health assistance.

January 22, 2017

January 21, 2017

January 20, 2017 (Friday, Inauguration Day)

                Executive Order to minimize the economic burden of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act pending repeal.  In other words – the Trump administration supports repeal of the ACA, until such time as it is repealed the agency directors can exercise their authority to waive, defer, grant exemptions from, or delay the implementation of any portion of the ACA that would impose a fiscal burden on anyone.

                Presidential Memorandum for the Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies. In other words – a few less regulations, please.

SUMMARY:  Stop with the regulations, don’t worry about those environmental reviews, if you’re a foreign NGO and want money from the US government for any health related programs don’t even mention the word abortion, build manufacturing plants, buy and use American steel, stop wasting time and energy maintaining and enforcing that pesky Obamacare, Trump will negotiate trade with countries individually so no need for any alliances, Oil is King, and make do with the employees you have ‘cause you’re not getting any new ones.

Twenty-fourth Day

In June 2016, MFT invited me to a 'party' at another person's house. It was a thing where we paid x dollars and were provided the materials to make a crafty DIY home decor project.  It was a fun evening and I hung my board in the bathroom.  I loved this gal's house.  From what I saw the rooms had an easy flow and with the decorations, the home felt warm and comfy.  I'm not sure I'd want it for my home, but I was really comfortable in her home as a guest.  The star of the evening (from my perspective) was this spread she had on the dining table.  I don't eat most of it anymore (vegan), but just looking at it made my mouth water.  There are meats, and cheeses and bread, and fruit and crackers and cookies and cakes.  This is my kind of spread.  Mm-mm good.  It makes me happy to look at it.

Yesterday - start of a new work week.  I did okay.
Last night I went to dinner with the Brace family.

I don't have too much else to say.
As I've mentioned before - posting in the morning is throwing me off.  I feel like I have interesting things to say, but by this time the next day I forget what it was.  I'll have to come up with a way to notate some ideas that I can go back to when I write the post up.
Otherwise you (dear reader) will think I'm BORE ING!!!  Ha!  We all know I AM boring, but I'd like to believe I think one or two interesting thoughts in the course of a day - lately, I can't even muster that.

Twenty-third Day

Last year I went to TedxPortland, courtesy of MbMB - it was FABULOUS!  The theme was Wonderland.

It's Monday morning - the beginning of a new work week, and the first workday after LJB died.

Yesterday was quiet. I came home from LJB's house in the early afternoon.  

I did some internet surfing and thought about  LJB.  

***

Trump had a strange, rambling speech at the CIA on Saturday.  He was trying to mend fences with the CIA (tweets and interviews), but spent much of the time talking about the size of the inauguration crowd, how smart he is, how young he feels, and the "dishonest" media.  

The audience was composed of CIA employees who had volunteered to attend (since it was a Saturday).  They were standing in front of the memorial for CIA agents who gave their life in service. 

It wasn't received well by everyone...

     CBS This Morning

     NY Times

     

And, from Fox News (wow, how obvious was that?)

     

Trump and Alternative Facts

Twenty-second Day

John, at the Bellevue Botanical Gardens, October 2010

LJB died last night at 9:38 pm

I'm grateful to have been a part of John's life.  He made me feel I was special. 

He taught me that Reaching Out is the way to stay connected.

John often said "Life is Good When You Live". I didn't fully embrace that saying all these years - I knew it was true in an abstract way, but I didn't take the time to think about what it really means. 

In the last few months I've seen what it means and I understand it now in a more profound way. 

John exemplified that spirit of living for me.  

He talked every day about the things he was grateful for. 

He lived by knowing each moment.

As a result, his Life Is Good.

Life is Good, When you Live.  I hope I'll be as gracious in my life as John was in his.

I imagine he's having a wonderful time finding out all the best places to go in the New World.

I will probably have more to say in the coming days or weeks about John.  Or not.  I'm not sure.

He was an interesting person and we had a great history.  He wasn't without some challenges (not just the physical variety), but he was always good-spirited, kind, and generous.  

He made room for me in his life, and for that I'm better.

Twenty-first Day

The year was 1992.  Twenty-five years ago.

I was dating GG.  Still in phone contact with ET and neighbor JM.  Phone calls with friend SI, and SK.  If I took a sick day, did I also really go to dinner with SK?  I must have 'cause the times are listed.  How did that work? We worked together.

On the 25th I went to a Thirty-Something Party.  It was a high school 'reunion' of sorts that I believe KandTM organized.  It was at a hotel in the area and GG went with me.  I have a fairly decent picture of the two of us at that party that I might come across one of these days.  

Well - that was my life 25 years ago.  

***

I didn't visit LJB yesterday.  I was pretty tired.  TMI Alert - I think about my digestion a lot. It kept me up the night before, plus there was the inauguration and festivities that I watched while working.

***

Shout out to two of my favorite comedies that recently ended their seasons...

The Good Place

Hilarious

Fantastic Acting

Interesting Premise

Brooklyn 99

Hilarious

Fantastic Acting

Great Workplace Comedy

Twentieth Day

I don't know why I'm having so much difficulty finding photos of President Obama from today or yesterday.  It's very frustrating!!! 

Today is the inauguration of Donald J Trump as President of the United States.
Gulp.

I wouldn't mind if Donald Trump surprises me.

***

Yesterday I visited LJB in the afternoon.  He opened his eyes and he smiled at me twice.  Very surprising!

***

I'm watching the inauguration live.  Here is an observation: The five Trump children walked in just now.  The two oldest in front walking side by side, the next two oldest behind them walking side by side. Finally, following behind - walking alone - is the youngest, Baron.  Why wouldn't those older kids (parents themselves) take better care of Baron?
He is keeping his head turned from the camera, and even now, while they're waiting for the First Ladies and Presidents to enter, he is standing alone, looking down and swaying side to side.
...now I see him talking to someone.

Seated together, left to right...Jimmy Carter, Roslyn Carter, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, George Bush, Laura Bush.

Melania Trump is being escorted in, now...all in blue.  She's very stoic, like an Ice Queen - and I don't mean that as a comment on her personality.  She looks sort of scared and uncomfortable to me, but she smiles when they enter the the stage area.

Now, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi are escorting President Obama and Vice President Biden.

The one thing I won't miss about the Obama years is how mean people were to President and Michelle Obama.  People said horrible things.  It was sickening and sad.  What kind of people are they?

Am I correct? I thought I heard a part of the crowd say O-ba-ma and then they got drowned out by Trump chants.  CBS cut very quickly I thought.

Now, we see Trump being escorted through the building - he looks very stressed out and uncomfortable.  All this pomp and circumstance isn't something he, or Melania, look like they take to very easily.
I remember watching Obama do this for the first time as well.  It must be overwhelming. But, I have to say - the Obama's looked more personable doing it.  Is that a true observation, or my bias?
Trump didn't bother to glad hand a bunch of people on the way to his seat.  He shook hands with the Obama's and Bidens.  That was it.  (Good - glad handing is boring).

While the first speaker talks about the inauguration, Trump looks sad, serious, and bored.

Considering how many people didn't vote for Trump, and Trump's record setting disapproval rating upon becoming President, we do have a wonderful tradition of a peaceful transition of power.  I appreciate it.

Three Christian prayers so far.  Is the inauguration always this biblically religious?  I recall it being less Christian and more general.  This is quite traditional bible praying.

While the Missouri State University Chorale sings, they're showing a shot of Trump with Baron behind him...man, they both look so sullen; like they'd rather be anywhere than where they are.

Chuck Schumer speaks about how important our faith and devotion to our country has been in the success of America.  I have to say...I'm not quite so devoted.  I mean - I love the United States.  And I will sacrifice to make it better.  But, I don't know how to deal with the people in our country who don't want to work together; collaborate and compromise.  We have to make it work together.  People who don't want to work together have given up the idea of America.  I don't mind if they aren't part of the country.  I don't mind disagreeing - but I really dislike people who choose not to work with their fellow Americans on behalf of the whole country.  So - I think they've already decided they don't care about America; they only care about getting what they want.  Ugh.

Pence just took the oath of office from Clarence Thomas.  I wonder if he chose Clarence Thomas, or if it was Clarence Thomas's turn?  Apparently, it's Thomas' first time to give the oath of office at an inauguration.

Uh - oh...Trump is about to take the oath of office.

And...it has happened.

Oh dear.  Here we go.

Now - let's hear the 45th President of the United States of America, speak for the first time as President...

...well, his speech is definitely about change. I will link the text here after it becomes available.
I wish I could come up with the words to describe this speech.
He's using phrases and ideas that seem to come from the beginning of a political thriller action movie. At some point during the movie there will be war and standing in long lines.

I wish Obama didn't have to applaud and pretend to be nice.  That was a messed up speech.
Trump wasn't even done shaking hands with the people who disagree with him when the crowd had already stopped clapping.

I guess whatever will happen next is about to happen.
I am worried.

***

Even Bob Schieffer says it will take the rest of the day to unpack that speech!

***

Ohhhh...we just saw Obama wave before boarding the helicopter.
I miss him already, again!
Tears.

Nineteenth Day

Missing Barack Obama Already by Nicholas Kristof

Last night - HOA Meeting to vote on sale of 108.  I spoke up a few times.  Yay?

I stopped by LJB's house for a short time in the late evening - when I told him it was me talking (I though maybe he wouldn't know) he nodded his head very definitively.  Later, I thought I saw a smile.

We're about to lose Barack Obama as our President.  I'm so sad.  

In the face of so much disrespect from Republicans in general and Donald Trump in particular (birther), he was gracious and calm.  I hope the respect that most of us have for him has overcome all the mean-spirited energy.  

What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man! (Shoop!)

Eighteenth Day

Washington Park Arboretun in Portland Oregon, October 2008

I almost forgot to write this blog entry.

Yesterday I spent 1/2 the work day visiting JLB.  Then I took a nap at home.
Then, back to JLB's house.

That's all.

Seventeenth Day

In honor of my work colleagues and the Portland ice storm predicted for later today that they'll have to deal with, here is a picture I took from my Oregon apartment on December 21, 2008

I don't know how these days are moving from one to the next and nothing is happening.

I work full time.

I visit LJB.

I try to watch television, but end up surfing the internet.

Oh - that might be the problem...surfing the internet.

Sigh.

Gotta give it up!  

It's the same thing as sitting on the couch flipping through channels, which I used to do as well.

The only way I gave that up was because of TIVO and the Season Pass

That's what's on my mind this morning!  

Sixteenth Day

Downtown Bellevue Park in September 2015

I spent yesterday (Sunday) afternoon and evening with LJB along with some other of his friends and family.

I notice a lot of people don't want to read or know what's going on in the news these days (Thanks Donald Trump!).  On the other hand, the activists say - now is the time to stay alert and make noise - we can't let this be 'normal'.

I'm torn.  

I want to fight, but I'm not a great joiner. And it's exhausting to see what kind of people we're up against; they make no sense, they're hypocritical, they're prone to reflexive action, they are fearful and suspicious, they're partisan at the expense of democracy, they're religious at the expense of democracy, they're bigots at the expense of democracy, they deny our role in climate change at the expense of our planet, they'd rather make new institutions than fix the ones we have (education), they want the rest of the world to be afraid of us, they're judgmental, they support old technologies at the expense of our future (oil), and they don't have compassion for people they don't agree with.  (Not everyone is all of those things.)

Super Mario Run is NOT Mario 64!!!  It's more boring and it doesn't make me feel like I'm in an interesting world.  Disappointing.  I'm still playing, but not with the same level of enthusiasm I started out with.

In fact, this game just makes me long for Mario 64.  

I had a Wii for a while and played Mario Galaxy, but I never finished it.  I didn't have the same lifestyle I did when I played Mario 64 so I couldn't devote much time to it.  

As I've mentioned before, it takes me a huge number of tries to accomplish a trick or move.

I'm reminded of an ice world in Mario 64 where a coin was hidden underneath a sheet of ice or something.  I couldn't get that for the longest time.

I haven't been reading in the last several days. I've been spending the workday evenings at LJB's house and coming home tired and hungry.  I'm out of sorts right now.

I've spent a few hours a day/night at his house for the last 5 days.  I'm already pooped!  I can't imagine how people do more - but I know they do.  I feel like a louse for not being up to it.  

Maybe it will be easier now that work deadlines have subsided for the time being.

That's all for today.

Fifteenth Day

My collage

I made this collage with my Salon Gals. It makes me happy to look at. Its an amateur attempt done in a bit of a rush, I'm sure. We were supposed to include things that make us happy.  So, mine has done the trick!  

I've still got it, so I think I'll make a more permanent version of this; one that I can hang on the wall.

***

Yesterday (Saturday) I spent the day watching this season's episodes of the Great American Baking Show.  It's the American version of BBC's The Great British Bake Off, which airs on PBS in America as The Great British Baking Show.

In 2016 the BBC lost the rights to televise the GBBO so Mel and Sue, the British host team left, followed by Mary Berry, one of the British judges, who was always thought of as the heart of the show.  

Apparently the Great American Baking Show has had low ratings.  The show is exactly the same as the PBS airing of the GBBS except the bakers seem a teeny less experienced and they don't speak in British accents.  The American show replicates the British cheery good-natured competition, which is often cited as a reason for the British show's popularity in America.  

I thought it was fun and lovely. 

I imagine one of the other charms of the British show, that we don't see in the American version, is the British contestant's way of describing things.  They have their own British-isms, that Americans find interesting.

There's nothing to be done about that.

***

I spent another evening at LJB's house last night.  This morning he's seeing his children and I've just gotten word that he opened his eyes to see them.  Huge joy for everyone about that.  

His other best friend JE will see him a little later this morning.  

Then, I expect he might leave us this evening or overnight.  Who can know of course.  I hope he will leave in the best possible way for him.

Fourteenth Day

When I was in 4th grade my friend RA and I signed up to be in the play "Rip Van Winkle" at the Marymoor Park Theater.

***

Work,
Visit John in the evening.

That is all.

As time goes by and the opportunity to have a conversation with John has become more remote, I find myself wanting to say out loud to him all the ways I'm a better person because of him.  I learned to be more patient, how important it is to listen, how easy it is to be kind, and that reaching out to others is the best way to maintain a connection.
He's experiencing this time in his life with a lot of patience and love and humor.  He's an easy person to be with even while his body is dying.
The greatest gift he gave to me is acceptance.
I have told him all these things over the years, so I shouldn't worry that he doesn't know.
As James Taylor said...I always thought that I'd see you again.

Thirteenth Day

JLB at Medina Park July 6, 2010

Another day, another dollar. 

I finished doing the ADP processing of our W2's.  Yay!  I approved them for mailing to the emps this morning.  Eek!  I'm afraid.  But, I compared the two box total reports and it all matched except the one thing we wanted to change.  So...I hope all is well.

Next milestone is Worker's Comp.  The WA quarterly is due at the end of the month. 

In the meantime...all kinds of other doo dads need to get done as well.

Then, I went to JLB's house immediately after work.  5 - 10 pm or so.

It was a good visit.  H and I talked before J and L got to the house for a quick visit.  Then, S stopped by.  

JLB is still sleeping quite a bit, and when he's awake he moves very little.  But - he stays engaged in the conversation around him and inserts a typical JLB quip, which is fun.

He doesn't complain or talk about whether he's in discomfort. He continues to be kind and generous.

That's all for now.  I'm composing an e-mail to 'the gang' of JLB friends. Earlier I was trying to find the correct words.  I think I just wrote it above.  So I'll get that out.

Twelfth Day

From my apartment in Oregon in December 2008, in honor of Portland's snow storm this year.  Apparently this year ranks #5 on the list of all time most snowfall in Portland.  None of the years I was in Portland (1997 - 2010) were on the list.

As I noted yesterday, I watched Donald Trump's first "News Conference" yesterday morning.  It was more like a performance, or a high school group presentation.  Strange.

I spent yesterday evening at LJB's house. Things have rapidly changed since I last saw him - January 1. I've spoken to him a couple times on the phone in the last week and a half, but I didn't realize how things had changed.

The world has shifted.

I will always appreciate that LJB accepted me with no reservations and reminded me to REACH OUT.  He's a kind and loving man.

Eleventh Day

From the middle of July 2003 at Washington Square Park in Portland, Oregon

I'm not having a great week.

I'm trying to eat better.

I'm having difficulty getting a refreshing night sleep.

I didn't read ANYTHING in my book last night.

My eyes are tired.

I DID complete the Purple and 'Black' coins in Super Mario Run World 2-3.

I'm not motivated to work very hard - I want a vacation

I am a big lump.  

I almost forgot to write my blog post for today.

I watched Obama's Farewell Address last night.

I watched Donald Trump's "Press Conference" this morning.

Oye.

Tenth Day

A Great Blue Heron enjoys the view near Golden Gardens Park in Ballard

Greg Gilbert/The Seattle Times

There's lots of stormy weather across the US in the last few days - wind, rain, snow, ice.  Many Portlanders were ice bound last weekend.  

It's easy to forget we're tiny little things living on a rock hurtling through the vast universe. 

***

I only read a couple PAGES in my book last night.  The night got away from me and I don't even know how.  I did NOTHING that I can think of.  Grrrr. 

Now that I think about it, I watched You Tube videos, Twitter feeds, and maybe one DVR show.  I also finished the Super Mario Run world 2-2 black coin level.

Oh - I hand washed my dishes. Yay!  

I ate a bagel and some Daiya cream cheese, I finished off my Vegan Cornbread Stuffing, I ate some of my big salad.  And the usual as well - crackers and microwave french fries. Sigh.

***

I guess that's all I have to say today.  Boo.

***

UPDATE from later in the day:
I might forget this tomorrow morning.

I thought I'd check out Northwest Cable News this morning to see about Portland's weather situation. Turns out NWCN ceased operations January 6, 2017!!!  Too bad.  Apparently, it's gotten expensive to maintain a regional 24 hour news broadcast when many people - especially in the Northwest, they said - are getting their news digitally.
Looking into that, led me to remember KOMO TV's Northwest Afternoon and Cindi Rinehart's Scope on the Soaps - which is unrelated to NWCN; Dana Middleton is the link.
I used to watch Cindi Rinehart's part of the show. She was fun and quirky and I watched 95% of the ABC Soap Operas (All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital - and Ryan's Hope, when it was on).
Thinking back on those days - when I watched soap operas - makes me feel happy.  I don't know why. The Scope on the Soaps started in 1984 when I was working full time at Safeco, so how I started watching I don't know.  Maybe I started watching when I was off work between Safeco and the Radiology place? And then VCR's maybe?  I stopped watching soap operas at some point because I was working and it wasn't as much fun to watch the soaps on VCR.  I might have started up again (or did I never stop?) in the late 90's before starting at Timberline.  Then, I quit for good until the last year or so of AMC and OLTL fairly recently
Anyway - I remember that show and those times fondly and with some comfort.

Ninth Day

I didn't watch the Golden Globes last night.

According to the podcast Hollywood and Levine only 57 people vote on the award - and they're actors from other countries who freelance as writers to supplement their waiter/waitress job while they wait for their big break. Ken Levine said the award can be bought.  He said the only reason big stars go to the award show is because they get free food and alcohol, and because it's nationally televised.  If that's the case, its embarrassing to watch people accept awards and give speeches that indicate the award means a lot to them.

Even if everything Ken Levine says is just for the joke of it - which is likely - I still don't care about the awards show, so I didn't watch.  That's not to say I've never watched awards shows I don't care about. Sometimes I'm in the mood to see big deal stars make a big deal out of each other.  Last night I wasn't.  

UPDATE:  Kudos to Meryl Streep for using the stage to speak out against ... a nameless person! :)

***

I started a new book last night.  The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. 

I visited my Mom yesterday.

***

When I was in sixth grade, our teacher Mr. Wells, started one of our after recess periods with a game. He described to us a situation that seemed outlandish and we had to ask yes or no questions to figure out what the story was.  I have no recollection of the stories he told - I think we did it a couple times - but what I've never forgotten all these years later is that it was fun and I feel accomplished and interested when I think about it. I've heard of that sort of thing done as an exercise in other classes or scenarios and I find it interesting. It's a puzzle, it's a collaboration, it's funny, and it makes everyone think outside the box.  

***

Hearings for Donald Trump's cabinet begin this week.  In fact the week is jam packed with them along with Donald Trump's first press conference in the last six months on Wednesday.  There are some very unsavory characters he wants to see in his cabinet, so why not distract everyone from the confirmation hearings with a news conference?

Donald Trump hasn't done a damn thing yet as President, but he's been an ass already.  See his Twitter feed for details.

He acts like a 7 year old spoiled brat. It's quite unbelievable. 

Eighth Day

Last night I finished reading "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave

As I've noted in previous posts I was reading it one chapter per day; a relaxing pace.  

Last night it was a really quick chapter and I saw how close to the end I was, so I finished.

What I liked about the book:  

• This is the story of Little Bee. It's a name she took to protect her real identity. It fit her and it was easy to hear in my mind.
• Little Bee has a very distinct and interesting point of view in the first chapters. It was written well and was easy to understand and believe.
• The story is about Little Bee as a refugee - I haven't read many books about that so this was a fresh story for me.
• An interesting personal characteristic of Little Bee is that wherever Little Bee was, she would look for how she would kill herself if the men came. I can imagine that might be a way to cope after surviving a tragedy.

***

I spent a nice morning checking out my money situation, surfing the internet...the usual.  

I sent a couple e-mails about the Windsor House pool.  Who knows what I'll get myself into because of that.

I went to Office Depot to pick up job ticket jackets to organize my card stock per Jennifer McGuire.

I went to Whole Foods and QFC to buy food - I was hungry and bought things I suspect I'll never eat.

I came home to organize my card stock while listening to KUOW.

I talked to Mom.

I read the book and I went to bed.

It was a nice, peaceful, relaxing day.  I want more of those.   

***

Listening to KUOW yesterday I was reminded how much I enjoy the show DAY 6 with host Brent Bambury.  He asks great questions.

In yesterday's show they talked about Google - by the end of 2017 the company will be entirely powered by renewable energy.  Excellent. I want to be involved in that kind of change.

Seventh Day

This song is joy and love to me, because we're sharing good wishes to all the people in the world.

I even like the part that says 'with blessings from above' because the God of good Christians (I think this is a Christian band) is LOVE, not judgment. It brings a tear to my eye to think of that God sharing blessings on all of us.

I think the religious people of the world with their rules and dogma have gotten it all wrong.
And maybe, people who reject religion and lost God in the process have gotten it wrong as well.
Religion bad - GOD/LOVE good.

This song is God's Love.

(I hope I don't discover someday that the people in this band are judgmental Christians. That would make me sad.)


Two items of good news yesterday:
1) I got through to LJB, but only for a short conversation.
2) W2s look good.
I've spent a lot of work hours looking at reports for W2s - making sure they're correct.  On Friday, I decided they're good - with one small exception I can deal with on Monday.
That's a HUGE relief.  Its our first year on this software and I don't feel like I know enough about our software OR how ADP works.

I read another chapter in my book.
I completed World 2-2 Purple coins on Super Mario Run.

So - a good day all in all, right :)

Let the new day begin!!!

Sixth Day

I took this picture outside my apartment in Oregon 13 years and 1 day ago;January 7, 2004.

Today its really cold (at noon it's 34 degrees). Relative to other parts of the country, this is just a regular winter day, maybe.  We've had a cold snap this week that's starting to warm up.  Luckily, it was dry and sunny.
I've been so busy with Quarterly reporting and W2 processing that I haven't noticed the outside too much.

I also haven't visited my friend LJB either, which I feel bad about.  I don't know how to accommodate every priority.

I read another chapter in my book last night.

I almost forgot to write in this blog today.

I haven't mentioned it, but I also spend some time every day - anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours - playing Super Mario Run on my iPad.  I say the F word a lot because I have terrible hand eye coordination. Or should I say hand brain coordination?  I don't react very quickly to what I see.  Even if I know what's coming and what I'm attempting to do, I can't make my finger do it without repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over again.  I don't exaggerate.  It takes me a LOT of tries for some of these tasks. I mean it takes me maybe 100 times or so.  I'm just guessing, but I wouldn't be surprised.  It could be more.
So far I've gone through each world just to finish it.  Now, I'm going through to get the pink, purple, and black coins.  I'm currently on World 2-2 purple coins.

Yesterday I mentioned Congress is beginning the process to repeal Obamacare. House Majority Leader Paul Ryan has confirmed that in the legislation that will repeal Obamacare they'll defund Planned Parenthood.
This effort started with the religious right who object to Federal funding of abortions. Planned Parenthood does not currently get any money for abortion services.  All the money Planned Parenthood gets from the federal government is a reimbursement for regular Health Care services it provides, similar to other health care providers.  But, since Planned Parenthood does perform abortions, the religious right wants them put out of business.
This infuriates me.
It makes me see red.
I don't even know how to react to it.
This is a secular country and we shouldn't be making policy based on religious ideas of when life begins and ends.
Period.
If we made laws the religious people didn't like, they'd start claiming that we're taking away their freedom of religion.  As it is they say it anyway.
I don't understand why they don't see their own hypocrisy.
The bottom line is we don't KNOW when "LIFE" begins.  It's a religious conclusion.
Maybe we need to define "LIFE" before we start making laws about it.

Fifth Day

(image from the internet)

(Note: The company I linked that image to referenced Hermann Hesse.  According to Wikipedia, he was a novelist, poet, and painter who explored an individual's search for authenticity, self-knowledge, and spirituality.  That matches up with my motto for the year, perfectly!)

Quiet day yesterday.  I didn't go anywhere or do anything special other than work.

I read chapter five of my book!

***

The beginning of the end of Obamacare has started in Congress.  This is very frustrating because the main reason Obamacare didn't live up to its promise is because Republicans were always fighting it.  In many states, the Republican governor would not support the medicaid increase.  People didn't like the mandate, but they don't realize the only reason they get to have pre-existing conditions covered and to keep their kids on their policies until 26 is because everyone would be paying into the system.  When you take out one part of the plan it won't work.
That's what Republicans are going to find out.  They keep talking about Repealing and Replacing Obamacare.  When they're asked what the replacement is they just nod assuringly and say 'we have a plan'.  They don't share it, though.  People keep talking about wanting the pre-existing condition rule and the adults under 26 rule to remain.
Well, ya gotta pay for it some way.  Insurance companies don't care about health - they care about making money.
It makes me kinda furious.

***

Today, I'd like to make note of a Humans of New York post.  HONY (as it's called) is a favorite website of mine. I'm constantly inspired by the voices of regular people - sometimes from around the world.  Brandon Stanton is the person behind it.

Here is yesterday's post...

“I thought when I came to New York it was going to be this huge change of scenery and that I could be whoever I want to be. I thought there’d always be a plan, or an event, and that I’d never feel alone, and that I’d be very ‘fabulous’ — for lack of a better word. ‘Carrie Bradshaw-esque,’ so to speak. But in reality, I still spend a lot of time alone. I think it’s because I’m afraid of being a burden on those around me. What if I’m not fun enough? What if the parts of me that are sad and complaining outweigh the parts of me that are good? Will I be wasting other people’s time? And when I do spend time with other people, I’m afraid to demand a certain level of kindness and respect. Because maybe that will make me even more of a burden. So I don’t reach out to other people very much. I spend a lot of time alone. But then I still get mad when I look on Snapchat and see people hanging out without me. But I’m trying to change my thinking. I’m not allowed to feel left out if I’m not making an effort. I’m not the protagonist of reality. I can’t expect good relationships to happen just because I exist.”

I feel this person's thoughts.  These could be my words.  Even her way of trying to change is what I think.  Amazing.  I wasn't a Carrie Bradshaw in New York person, but I had the idea that I'd easily fall into connections and fun groups without forcing it.  It would be natural and organic.  I was wrong.  That's what happens on TV, not real life.

Fourth Day

I think this song (by REM) is about the scary end of the world and the bad stuff that will precede the end of the world.  I'm not sure if that's true, but that's what I get out of my read of the lyrics.

But, maybe we should be thinking this way all the time.  When we think we KNOW the world, then we get caught up in expectations and disappointment.  We need to get rid of the idea that everything is going to be the same today and tomorrow and the next day. It messes with our heads.

It's scary and disorienting to think things change all the time - but they do.  Sometimes in a flash.

The rest of this lyric is ...and I feel fine.

It's the End of the World as We Know It, And I Feel Fine.
Taking away all the scary stuff - I'll think of this as a way to live in the present moment and a reminder that I can choose how I feel about change and not having control over everything.

It might be the end of the world as I know it - but it's not the end of all that is. Ever.
It might be the end of the world as I know it - but it's never the end of all that is.
It might be the end of the world as I know it - but it's not the end of what the Universe knows.
And I feel fine - because I can't control it anyway.

UNLESS - as humans we really DO control things.  Hmmm...
Maybe that's the exhortation...I CAN control things. When we stand together, we are strong and we can make change. Our spirit molds the future.
Which goes along with my motto for 2017, which is the Universal Rules:
BE CONNECTED, BE CREATIVE, BE KIND, and BE YOU
When we are connected together we can be strong, and we can CREATE the universe we want to live in.

Okay - so that's this day's meditation moment...:)

The bottom line is...I FEEL FINE.

***

I read chapter four of my book last night.  I'm almost halfway through.
I'm fighting the urge to jump ahead, or look on Wikipedia to see what happened.
That's why I haven't been reading or watching movies as much in recent years - I've lost my patience. I just want to know what happens. Quickly.
But, I see value in reading or even watching movies that I'd like to cultivate again.
Focus is not a strength of mine.  I hope reading will remind me of the joys of diving deep rather than the hustle and bustle of the Internet where everything is available in a flash and it's practically encouraged that I DON'T focus - keep moving onto the next thing.  Grrr.  Too much.

***

I noted in yesterday's blog that the House decided to get rid of the independent ethics committee.
Since then, people were kinda outraged.  Even Donald Trump weighed in.  He doesn't think the idea is wrong, he just thought the timing was lousy.  Which, I have to say, was my take as well.  I don't KNOW if there is valid reason to get rid of it without thinking about it more - but the LOOK of it was pretty bad.

***

Hey - I just noticed something...

I don't already have 1000 posts (as I noted in an earlier blog post)!!!!!  I have a bunch of DRAFTS that I'll never publish.  Darn.  Ah well.

***

By the way - I've been writing these posts in the morning; this is the morning of the fourth day.  It's confusing me. I'm writing about Day Three and calling it Day Four.