2014 - What a year!!!

Something kicked into gear for me since my birthday.

I've discovered:

I sometimes have a victim mentality - In my head I say to myself "If this hadn't happened and that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have done that."  In that way I put the blame on other people and became a victim of other people's actions.  I've been listening to myself say those things and worked hard at taking responsibility for what I do, no matter what action led me to that place.  I don't have trouble saying I'm sorry or recognizing I could have done better, but there always seems to be a reason I didn't do better, and it's other people.  Changing the way I think about things gives me the power to be who I know I can be.  It's a hard habit to break so I can't say I've done it always, but hearing myself say those things to myself has been a huge help.  

I have a sense of entitlement - In my head I say to myself "I shouldn't have to do this."  I have always thought of myself as being somehow above some things.  Not all things.  I'm happy to do menial tasks quite often.  It's some work at some times.  Or, not even work related - "I shouldn't have to wait around for this."  Again, I've gotten better at hearing myself say these things so I can respond to myself "Why not?"  What have I done to earn relief or respect in that area?
There are two things about that:  1)  really, nobody should be above anything so I don't like that I think that way just in general.  2)  I've been noticing in my life that I don't do anything that is of value to anyone or the world.  I don't devise new things, I don't work at a charity, I don't teach people anything, I don't have children, I'm not nice to old people.  Just in general, I don't think I benefit the world that much.  I'm not saying I won't, but I realize I don't.  So - of course I haven't earned the right to be entitled.

I'm lazy - I've talked about this before at other end of year reviews.  I take the easy way out.  A lot.  It's easier to walk away than try to balance to zero.  It's easier to walk away than practice.  It's easier to play games on my iPad than read a book.  It's easier to watch a movie than take a walk.  Work wise, I think it's more important than ever that I take the extra step toward excellence (which comes into play with my theme for the year - more on that later).

Two big things I did in the last six months:

I found the names of my natural parents. - I've been dilly dallying about this for years and years and years and years.  I wasn't sure how I felt about finding out and didn't have a way to find out that didn't involve upsetting the apple cart.  I wasn't sure I wanted to upset the apple cart so I kept my mouth shut and just wondered.  Finally, the state of Washington allowed adoptees to get a copy of their original birth certificate.  So, I did.  And then, with the birth mother's name and some internet searching, I found the married name of the woman I believe to be my natural mother.  I have a picture of my natural maternal grandparents and the grandma shares a resemblance.  But, I share pretty much zero resemblance to the natural mother.  She's been married for years and has a son and a daughter and about 5 grandchildren.  I spy on her through Facebook.
My natural father is named in the legal documents that the lawyer's office still had.  I'm not sure I share much resemblance to him either.  And I don't know as much about him - he doesn't have a family member that's active on Facebook (which is how I can get glimpses of my natural mother)
In any event, those questions are answered.
I haven't felt a need to meet them either.  I don't know why.  Maybe just knowing who they are and that they seem pretty normal has satisfied me.  I secretly hoped there was some famous or fascinating person in my natural family.  Now that I know there isn't I feel content to let things be.
I don't know enough about the circumstances of my conception and I can't risk that it was something horrible for the natural mother.  I'd hate to upset her when she has a good and content life as it is.
I'd be more inclined to reach out to the natural father, and yet - even there - to what end?
There are a lot of people in the world who have no idea who their natural parents are and no way to find out.
I'm lucky I could at least get a glimpse of them.

I bought a condominium - that's a big one because it only JUST happened and most of my savings will be gone.  I've always been afraid to be this committed to a mortgage.  I liked having my freedom.  But, at my last lease renewal it looked like they want to raise the rent quite a bit which would mean it's just as expensive to buy as it is to rent.  So far I'm not getting as anxious as I thought I might considering that time I was going to buy a townhouse in MFJ's condo complex in Beaverton.  That time I got so sick to my stomach right after putting an offer in that I had to call it off immediately.
This is a big deal because I'm committing to something, but also because it means I've given up on the idea of love.  Huh?  Yeah.  I had a thought at some point this year where I realized part of why I didn't want to settle down and I always feel like I'm temporary is because I was always hoping I'd meet someone and we'd start living life together.  I didn't want to be tied down to anything so it would be easier to comingle our lives when the time came.   I know - I could have always sold a home if I found someone to be with.  But, that's not how my deep subconscious was thinking about it.
Since my breakup with JLB - maybe three years now? - that really shattered me.  Not that I think he was the one, but because I tried and it still didn't work.  I don't think I try in the best way but that's a story for another time.  The point is, I realized I don't want to try anymore.  And given that, I have no reason not to settle down.  So I will.  (I think the part about not finding love has been pretty heartbreaking for me so maybe I won't be done forever, but I'm a slow moving turtle so it takes me a lot of time.  Maybe too much time.  I'll never have a sexy romance, but maybe I can have a loving companion.)

In conclusion:
In many ways 2014 was monumental.  I'm glad I moved forward on a couple things.  Since my birthday I've had a lot of clarity and I've tried hard to take the next step.
My boss is the one who mentioned the victim thing to me.  She talked about her own spiritual journey and mentioned victim vs master is a concept she's working on. When I said something that sounded like victim mentality to her, she pointed it out and the idea clicked into place.  I'm not a victim in the boohoo woe is me way, which is how I previously thought of 'victims'.  I'm a victim when my excuses for not being my best self are that other people didn't do or say this, that, or the other thing.   Understanding shifted the way I look at things.  A paradigm shift.  That was powerful.
And being able to hear myself talk to me is another powerful shift.  Eckhart Tolle talks about being The Observer of our own thoughts.  I've done better with that, which gave me clues about how I can do better.  It's mostly habit and negative self talk.  That's all!

On to 2015 -
Take the next step - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
The condominium I purchased is a good walking condo - near shopping and a park.  I've gained a lot of weight in the last couple years.  In 2015 I'd like to get up and take a walk more often.  Take the next step.

Our company is heading in a new direction and I want to be part of it.  To do that, I need to take the next step toward excellence.  Don't stop when it's OKAY work, take the next step and make it EXCELLENT work.

It's important for me to find my place in the world.  This year, I'd like to take the next step in my spiritual development.  That might mean reading more books, giving myself time to meditate.  Take the next step and really quiet my mind.  Practice.  Take the next step and practice stillness.

***

The world is difficult right now.  There is war and destruction and murder and hatred and fear.  It's heartbreaking.  It's overwhelming.  I know there are pockets of love and peace and kindness and joy out there.  I know people who are loving.  I hear about people who are peaceful.  Discoveries continue being made.  Life is still happening all around us.
The world is amazing and wonderful and exciting and beautiful.  For this year, I wish everyone will get a glimpse of Love for themselves and in that way the light won't ever die out.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
It's one way I can be of value to the planet.

The Supreme Court rules again.

I'm so frustrated.  I really dislike the opinions of Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Kennedy.
They are creating a country in which being a religious person makes you a first class citizen.  You get to do whatever you want.  Wait - not just a 'religious' person, a Christian religious person!

I keep talking and thinking about really going through an opinion to see what the reasoning is behind some of these outrageous decisions.  It's difficult to find the time, focus, and the understanding to go through all those words.

The latest is today's ruling in a Hobby Lobby case in which private corporations want exemptions from the Affordable Health Care act.  They want to NOT provide contraception (in their mind, contraceptives cause abortions) based on their religious beliefs.

(I just heard that there are ways around this - the government will pay for the contraception access - which is the excuse used by Alito in his ruling)

Sigh.

What's happening?

These photos are from The New Republic

Yemen photographer Boushra Almutawakel series called "Mother, Daughter, Doll"

These pictures are heartbreaking.  She's very brave.

 

 

 

 

Happy Father's Day

This is my Dad in the 70's.  Quite mod - long sideburns and a checkered suit jacket.  I like his smile. 

Story of My Life - 002 - July 1959

So this isn't a story, but it's interesting, I think.  This is a note written to my mother and father to congratulate them when they got me.

"Dear
I was sure surprised to hear about your sweet little baby just about 2 days before I got the card.  Avis and I were talking and I said to her I don't think they will ever have any children and here come the card and we had a good laugh but it is so nice for you and I wish you good luck raising her.  I know she must be very sweet as I know her parents are.  Well, I am getting so many Great Grandchildren that I will have to quit writing to them as my hands is so bad my hand is asleep right now and I have to stop and wake it up.  I am not very well anymore so excuse me if I don't write very often.  I have something wrong with  my jaw, it all swelled up like I had the mumps and it sure bothers me so much to eat anything.  I am happy you have a baby now.  I know you will be very happy now.  With Love Pearl.  P.S.  Excuse all blunders I am 83 years old now.  Grandma"

I'm really taken by this letter.  She must have been born in 1876.  When she mentions her aches and pains it becomes very immediate and in this moment.  A bridge across time.

Movies I've Seen - World War Z

From IMDB:  United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments, and threatening to destroy humanity itself.

I don't usually watch zombie movies, but I've seen a lot of trailers for this movie and it intrigued me.  I wondered what a world war might look like in today's world.

My thought?  Nothing new to see here, move along now.  

It was fine.  I haven't watched a movie like this in a while.  There's no denying that because it's the existence of humanity on the line, we all have a stake in the outcome, right?  I'm no exception.  I don't like Zombies and I've seen plenty of movies with the same plot outline, but I still want "us" to win.

Brad Pitt was quite believable in the role and performed admirably...he's not just a pretty face.

These are all the Brad Pitt movies I remember watching:  Moneyball, The Mexican, Fight Club, Seven Years in Tibet, Twelve Monkeys, Legends of the Fall, Interview with the Vampire, A River Runs Through It, Thelma and Louise.

My two favorites in that group are Fight Club and Twelve Monkeys - loved him in Twelve Monkeys.

  

Oh what a web we weave...

http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/iraq-turmoil/iraq-violence-opens-old-wounds-vets-n130161

It's heartbreaking to watch the violence in Iraq, particularly the last few days when a radical Islamist group the West calls ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria) is taking control of many of the larger cities.  It's 'Shock and Awe' in reverse.   The Iraqi Army 'melted away' according to a Kurdish leader (CBS News, Holly Williams).

I wish the people who supported the war (Boehner, McCain and Graham et al) and who continue to heckle President Obama's decision to 'end' the war, would learn a lesson.  This was foretold when Bush and Cheney turned away from Afghanistan and invaded Iraq with the idea of creating a Democracy.  It was a horrible decision then and it would be a horrible decision today.

Time to write another e-mail to President Obama - short and sweet:
"Hello - I do NOT support any further activity in Iraq.  Please do not listen to people like Boehner, McCain, or Graham.  Thank you, Vicky"

Story of My Life - 001 - November 1980

This is the first 'story of my life' post.  You'd think it would be a really important life event because it's the first.  It's not.  I picked a piece of paper out of the memorabilia bag and this is what we're going with.  Thank Goodness I can throw this away after I'm done.

Sherry and Jerry are the father and stepmother of one of my two best friends at the time.  I would never have guessed I went to their wedding, or purchased a wedding gift for them.  Now that I've been reminded, I can just barely make out an image in my mind of Sherry and Jerry in their wedding attire.
Jerry owned a small tennis and swim club.  Because I was friends with LS, we had nearly free reign of the club in late elementary, middle, and high school.  It was such a part of our life we called it 'The Club'. 
We were really lucky and hopefully didn't take too much advantage.

Sherry and Jerry were a couple from nearly the beginning of my friendship with LS.  Although they're a continued presence in my memories of LS and those days, I don't have any stories about them specifically.   In retrospect, I can't imagine how overwhelming it would have been for Sherry to have a boyfriend with six boisterous kids.

In my perception of the time,  Sherry and Jerry were the glamorous couple who had parties and friends and money.  LS' mom was taking care of six kids while working irregular jobs.
It was a contrast that I think had an effect on my ideas of men and marriage and relationships.

Anyway - they were nice people and never made me feel bad for hanging around a lot. 

I'm glad I went to their wedding and gave them a gift.

A new mission for this blog...

Yes, it's a journal for me. 

I have a lot of memorabilia from my life.  Although I really like the memories they bring up, I don't like that memorabilia takes up space.  I'm sick of having to move it here, there, and everywhere when I hardly ever look at it except when I'm trying to figure out if I can throw it away. 

On the other hand, if I didn't have some of these things to look at I'd completely forget about people, places, events, and activities.

I had an idea several years ago that I could take pictures of things and then get rid of them.  I'd still have something to jog my memory, but I wouldn't have to take up space to keep them.

But, what about the story associated with the memory?  Can I keep that as well?
In what format?

I'm not sure if this blog will stand the test of technological time.  But, I guess I think it's in Google's best interest to have a way to archive it and make it available for a pretty long time.  So, I'm putting all my pictures and stories here.

I've just signed a one year lease at this 2 bed 2 bath apartment.  I want to live in a large studio space.  I have one year to get all this memorabilia documented and pared down so I can easily move to a space that better fits the lifestyle I'd like to have.

I'm sorry I waited until late middle age to do this.  Well, there's a reason for that, but I won't go into it now.

So, that's a new mission for the year.  I'm not sure how I'll do because when was the last time I did anything I said I would?  And even if I started, when was the last time I finished something?

I guess this blog could be a document of my good intentions.

Movies I've Seen - Timeline and Don Jon

From IMDB:  A group of archaeological students become trapped in the past when they go there to retrieve their professor. The group must survive in 14th century France long enough to be rescued.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I give this movie a 2.10 because I like Time Travel.
I bet the book was better.
Honestly, I thought the dialogue was unimaginative and not well delivered in many cases.  The plot was cliche and was flimsy.  
One of the clunkiest scenes was when the group of archaeology students learn their professor is in the past and within five minutes they've all agreed to get into an unstable wormhole machine just so they can rescue the professor.  
Francois didn't want to go but the others manipulated him.  They said he's the only one who speaks fluent French so he must go.  He was very scared and was crying.
They arrived in 1357 France on the day of a battle between the English and the French.  When the group was captured by the English, Francois was the one that was killed outright for being a French spy.  
The movie didn't have any emotional beats - it was one thing after the other with each of the plot points being the exact same.  The death of Francois was dealt with exactly the same as a scene where the girl climbs out a window to help them escape.  

The group was in the past for 6 hours total.  Of the 8 who left, only 3 came back.  4 were killed and one fell in love and stayed behind.  
The book probably fleshed out the characters more...?  
The time travel aspect wasn't particularly interesting.  Even at the end, when they came back after changing the outcome of the battle, there wasn't any indication that anything had changed.  
I watched the whole movie so it can't have been too bad, I guess. 

I don't recommend it, though.

From IMDB: A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.

I really like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 3rd Rock from the Sun.  I want the grown up Joseph Gordon-Levitt to be a version of a grown up Tommy.

I think JGL has interesting things to say.  He's done some creative things over the years.

Be warned:  it was profane and sexually explicit.  
But, I think it had something to say about love.  I liked it.

At one point, it seemed like an after-school special, though.  Julianne Moore was teaching him about what it means to make love and be in a relationship.

It wasn't subtle.  
Pornography is one-sided, romantic idealism is one-sided.
To have a real relationship it's a two-way street.

Was this a new version of Saturday Night Fever?  Could have been.

Drunk Words are Sober Thoughts

I first came across this phrase while reading about a celebrity who'd been caught hurling racial epithets while drunk, and later apologized, claiming that's not what they truly believe and that's not who they are.

Is it true?  Are drunk words sober thoughts?

If someone is drunk, are they apt to vocalize thoughts their sober self would know to keep quiet?
Or, is the alcohol affecting their mind so dramatically that the drunk mind is changing reality?

I don't know.

(I also don't know why people enjoy being drunk)

Art inspires Thought

The author and illustrator Maira Kalman said this in an INKtalk (in association with TED) called What I choose to illustrate and why

You're constantly battling with the idea of loss and grief in this life time, and then continuing on with optimism and courage.

No wonder life is challenging and delightful at the same time.


She also said...

...everything that arrests you, everything that delights you has to be noted

Which goes along with my blog post from May 17 in which I wonder why I blog


If you watch the video of Maira Kalman, you'll hear about the artist Nina Katchadourian who made some Flemish style portraits in an airplane restroom!  Yes.  Funny and creative.  They really capture the style of Flemish paintings.


How is it that I came to Maira Kalman's website?  Via Lisa Hoffman's website
How is it that I came to Lisa Hoffman's site?  She commented on Michelle Ward's website
I have Michelle Ward's blog on my Feedly (it's been a while but I think it's because of stencils or mixed media)

And, that's how I surf!

Writing on this blog

I tried to blog every day for a month.
I couldn't do it.

I had plenty to say.  I always do.

Ah!  I want to be more clear.

I had plenty of emotion.

I wasn't able to translate my emotions into coherent words and sentences.

I was too overwhelmed and lacked the patience to organize my emotions into thoughts and from there into words and sentences.

Or...in the process of organizing my emotions into thoughts I realized the ideas didn't need to be shared.
          someone else said it already
          it was negative or judgmental
          it was presumptuous
          it was whiny or self-involved.
          my take on the idea wasn't helpful or didn't provide a unique perspective
          my initial emotion didn't translate into an idea that made sense in the final analysis
          I was wrong


Even when I want to write about something, I don't feel like taking time to provide context.


Every opinion is based on an understanding of the facts at that moment.  There are so many things we don't know and time changes everything.
I feel pressure to describe a MOMENT.  This is what I think RIGHT NOW.
New information comes to light very quickly and I'm not able to stay on top of all the things I'm interested in.  In an instant, the moment is gone, the circumstances have changed and my opinion will probably change.


Then, why?  Why do I want to write a blog?  I don't want to know people may or may not be reading my blog (too much pressure).  I might as well be writing in a private diary.  So, why do I maintain a blog?


Maybe...
I want someone in the future to know I was here.
I want to have my half of a lively conversation.  
I want a reason to do better, think better, write better.


I'll maintain this blog, and for the time being, I'll not worry about when or if I write in it.

We can work it out...together

I missed yesterday's post.  I'm going to keep blogging for 30 days, but then I'll have some thoughts on that.

In the meantime...

What the world needs now is everyone working together and participating.  

When I say "everyone", I mean E V E R Y O N E.  

We each have gifts to offer.  We balance each other out.  I'm naively optimistic, others are overly pessimistic, and there are lots of people in between.  When we all work together there's balance and the right thing gets done.

In our current world, people have been either purposefully pushed out of the system (terrorism, war, subjugation), or they've opted out (apathy, overwhelming feeling of powerless).  

As a result, things are out of whack.

We should be focusing our efforts on making sure everyone can and does participate in governing our world.

i should start smaller, though...maybe the city.

Ukraine on May 5, 2014

(Photo: Alexey Furman, epa)

A released pro-Russian supporter is welcomed by participants of a rally as he and others are released from a policy building in Odessa, Ukraine, on Sunday.

Ukraine is getting worse and I continue to assign responsibility to what the media are calling "the pro-Russian separatists" (pRs).

After the former leader of Ukraine left (fled with a fortune) for Russia, the people who took over pretty quickly said there would be new elections on May 15.

There was no reason for the violence.  None whatsoever.

No matter what else has happened or been said...there was no need for the violence.

That's why I'm against the pRs.  And because Putin wants to help them, that's why I think Putin is wrong.

NPR - Ukraine Dispatches Special Police To Odessa After Unrest

USA Today - Ukrainian troops intensify fight against separatists

A future without human labor

The world of 'work', as we know it, is changing before our very eyes and I think we've got our heads in the sand because it challenges how we think about our selves, our purpose, and the meaning of life.  We should start adjusting our mind set now.

There's excitement in the world of technology when tasks are automated - one less thing a human has to do.  

On the other hand, it's one less thing a human has to do.

Doesn't it seem like there are less jobs people need to do?

The April 2014 unemployment figures tell us unemployment rate is dropping and that less people who want a job are dropping out because they're discouraged.  Which is good news.

But, it feels like there will come a time, more quickly than we think, when there just won't be enough work for everyone to do.

That's going to be a tough transition.

Here's a quick article from New Scientist, via Slate Magazine, that talks about the future of work: "Robots Will Take Our Jobs"

White House Correspondent's Dinner 2014

C-SPAN

My review of this year's White House Correspondent's Dinner 2014:

Obama made me laugh a lot.  It was pretty funny through the first 2/3 or so and then slowed down.

Joel McHale had some good jokes, but I thought he was uncomfortable. 

And that's my blog post for today.

Ukraine on May 2, 2014

Things are not looking good in Ukraine.

I hope we stay out of it.
I'm not sure I feel it's okay to be so isolationist, but I just don't think we're in a good position to deal with this.
We can't even get our own country on the same track, why would we do any better on the other side of the planet?

Happy Pharrell Williams

Anthony Mason interviews Pharrell Williams on CBS Sunday Morning.

Two quotes I particularly like:

 "You've said that you were one of those kids who just didn't fit into the box," said Mason."No. I've just never even seen the box," Pharrell said. "It's like, what do you mean? What wall? What ceiling? What are you talking about. Hence the phrase 'Room without a roof,' you know? Limitless."

Pharrell consistently says he's grateful for his success and he owes it to the people in his life.  Anthony Mason wants him to accept that there's something special about him that creates this success...

"Are you afraid if you give yourself too much credit, it would all go away?"
"For sure," he said. "You see people spin out of control like that all the time. I mean, those are the most tragic stories, the most gifted people who start to believe it's really all them. It's not all you. It can't be all you. Just like you need air to fly a kite, it's not the kite. It's the air."

I don't think the analogy of the kite and air entirely holds up because the kite has to exist and allow the air to take the kite on a journey for there to be a magical flying kite.

I get his point, though - we're all the product of ourselves and the world around us.  But for the luck and happenstance of a multitude of variables outside our control, success may or may not come.  

I don't know much about Pharrell Williams, but I liked what I saw in this interview.

And I really like "HAPPY"

Today's blog post

I don't have the patience to write a blog post today.  I've been doing well posting one entry a day since April 12.  That's only 19 days.  But, it seems like at least a month to me.  And the entries I've posted haven't been impactful or interesting.

Today I wanted to write about Donald Sterling, but the topic has too many angles for me to pick one and write about it...racism in America is alive and well, plantation mentality, he had a history of racism and yet people continued to work with him, is it okay to continue associating with people whose moral compass is that far off, where do we draw the line, does money trump everything, this story is the ultimate example of how money has influence which the Supreme Court doesn't really understand, the Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP was going to give him his SECOND lifetime achievement award because he has donated so much money - no integrity on the part of that chapter of the NAACP, Donald Sterling and his ex-wife were suing the gal Sterling was speaking to on the tape and suddenly this comes out which sounds like somebody called somebody else's bluff, privacy - he was in a private home and may or may not have known he was being taped, he hasn't violated any laws but he's violated the people who support his team and enterprises and they spoke loudly and effectively - that's the free market...etc, etc, etc)

I have no patience for focused thinking, I guess.  I'm a daydreamer.


UPDATE 5/2/2014 - I watched Shark Tank tonight and before I moved on to something else, 20/20 started.  Barbara Walters did an interview with V Stiviano - the mistress.  It was horrible.  Every article I've read about this whole event has focused on what I would think are the larger issues as I mentioned above.  ABC News?  They go to the mistress.  They showed footage of the mistress roller-skating in her neighborhood wearing a big visor that covers her face while being chased by paparazzi shouting at her.  They showed footage of Donald Sterling and his wife leaving a restaurant while paparazzi screamed questions at them.
And the questions Barbara Walters is asking the mistress?  Ridiculous (do you love him? is he racist? should he apologize?)  The mistress?  Incomprehensible.("I'm his right hand arm").
I don't think there's a news division at ABC.  Really trashy.
And, if Donald Sterling is so distraught, why on earth would he go out to a restaurant?  Why not stay home - he's rich enough to have people come in and cook for him.
That's how ABC turned this topic into trash for me...they showed me these people are publicity hounds and not all there in the head, even if they are rich.  Or maybe because they're rich.
Ick.

Television I Watch - Almost Human

I am VERY disappointed that "Almost Human" has been cancelled by FOX

This was a good show.  Interesting world and wonderful lead characters.
Darn.
Darn.

Humans on Earth

Credit: Goodshoot/Jupiterimages

I wonder if there would ever come a time when people would choose not to procreate because the Earth just can't sustain humanity anymore?


Earth Day was last week.
KUOW interviewed David Fenton who said "If you really want to help, stop calling it Earth Day."

He said the day is not about the Earth:  "The planet is going to be fine.  It just will eject us, and unfortunately a lot of other species," Fenton said.  "The planet will recover.  We just won't be here.  That's what we need to explain to people."

One Day At a Time

Some people use drugs, others drink.  Some are adrenaline junkies, others are exercise fanatics.
My 'drug' of choice seems to be television/surfing the internet.

I decided to go through this day without any television.  And because my next 'zone out' drug is surfing the internet, I decided I wouldn't do that today either.

Until 8:00 pm when I'll watch the CBS shows and go to bed.

As it happens - I got a lot of stuff done today.  Quite a bit more than if I'd allowed myself to watch television or use the computer.

I did some work in the morning until noon.  From then on I listened to KUOW all day.
My goal is to clear out all the extra stuff I have.  I go through closets, drawers, boxes multiple times because on the first pass I can't bear to give something up.  The next time I go through it, I'm one step closer to giving it up.
I worry I'll throw something away I could have used.

Sure enough, it happened today.  I just realized I have a use for cable clips and I have some cable clips...or rather, I used to have cable clips.
I threw them out today.
I even hesitated, thinking they're small and don't take up room.
No - I'll never use them!!!  Throw them away!
They're gone.

Ah well...the truth is, I wouldn't have known I had them if I hadn't been throwing them away.

Weekend Radio on KUOW

I enjoy listening to the radio on the weekend. KUOW is my go-to channel.
I could listen to every show on my own schedule because they have podcasts or are available on the internet.
I continue to listen on KUOW's schedule because that's how I think about listening to the radio.

Yes, I'm a member!

I don't listen to all of them every week, but these are the shows I look forward to on the weekend:

This American Life

What an original.  I've learned a lot from this show's stories.  I've also laughed and cried and been  moved by many of the stories.  All around fantastic show.

The Dinner Party Download

A nice variety of tidbits and interviews.

CBC's Day 6

Hosted by Brent Bambury, who does a wonderful job asking questions that provide both sides of an issue.

The Vinyl Cafe

Good music and often HILARIOUS and heartwarming stories about Dave and Morley.  

The Moth Radio Hour

Stories on a wide variety of themes; funny, poignant, interesting.  

Here are other shows I may also listen to on the weekend:

Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!

This show can make me laugh.

Travel with Rick Steves

It's fun to hear about other parts of the world.  Rick often talks about off the beaten path locations.

A Prairie Home Companion

There's often great music on this show - it has a good variety of skits and music.

Says You

Funny and interesting.

The Swing Years and Beyond

I'm listening to it now while I put this blog post together.  It's produced by KUOW.

I became aware of it when I drove to or from Portland around this time.  

The Tobolowsky Files

He tells a good story about his life in movies and other personal experiences.

Snap Judgement

It really is storytelling with a beat.  The stories are there, but they're a little more produced and performed than The Moth, for instance.  It's fun.

The Splendid Table

Lynne Rossetto Kasper has a fabulous voice and just the right amount of charm and enthusiasm.

On The Media

Brooke Gladstone hosts.  I like the questions she asks and her choice of stories and perspective.

If I can stay awake on Friday night I also listen to:

LA Theater Works

A modern radio play presentation

The Diane Rehm Show

Friday News Roundup - Domestic from midnight to 1 am

Friday News Roundup - International from 1am to 2am.  

The show includes journalists and listener questions (which are politely controlled to move the show along)

Honestly, every show on the KUOW schedule on weekends and throughout the week is a winner.

Cubicles

I like cubicles.
According to news media, that opinion puts me among a small minority of workers.

Why I like cubicles:
I like small, compact things.  I like creative ways to store things in a small space.
I like the special cubbies and accessories designed to maximize space and efficiency in a small space.
I like that all cubes start out the same, but they're decorated individually.  
I like the temporary nature of the cubes; the configuration of an entire office can be changed pretty quickly and it's a completely new work environment.

I've worked in a variety of cube configurations - low wall, high wall, 3 sides, 3.5 sides, desk only.  Even if the walls are low there's some bit of privacy.  I had a great cube at one company that had tall walls, a full length closet, lots of upper shelf storage, work space, cupboards and a rolling stool that could hide under the work space.  I also enjoyed my coworkers.    

Currently, I work in an office.  Everyone at the company has an office.  What a waste of space.  It also goes against my natural spirit of egalitarianism.  I definitely don't mind the privacy, but it's not efficient.

Open, collaborative work spaces are the new thing.  I love the idea of it.  In the new world of tech it makes complete sense - people are working together toward a common goal - learning, teaching, brainstorming.  If that's the environment I work in, it would be great.  I'd still prefer some privacy though; a place to make faces when I'm disgusted, clear my head, take a break.  Give me the illusion of privacy please.

The video above gives a good overview of the pros and cons of the cubicle workspace.  Luckily,  all my experiences with cubicles have been positive.

Television I Watch - How I Met Your Mother

If only it had ended like this.

It's been a bit over two weeks now since the series finale of "How I Met Your Mother".

Sadly, my enjoyment of HIMYM reruns has been affected by that last episode.  I already turn off episodes that involve Zoe.  

I really liked Barney and Robin together.  During the whole last season we saw how they were changing and growing because of their relationship together; they accepted each other and were willing to face their fears to love each other.  It was meaningful and sweet and I was happy for them.

Within the first 5 minutes everything that had gone before with Barney and Robin meant absolutely nothing.

I don't understand why the writers spent so much time building them up as a couple.  What was the point?  Not only that but their breakup was an afterthought.  

First, how is it that all the sudden Robin's career is so amazing?  She never exhibited the skills I'd expect for a newscaster that travels the world.  That makes no sense.

And why would Barney follow her around?  The Barney I know wouldn't leave New York.  That's what made Barney and Robin so great together - they didn't need to be in each other's lap to be in love.

Or that's what I was told made them perfect for each other.

The fact that they so easily said 'see ya' didn't match what I'd learned about them as a couple.

It makes the rerun episodes seem ridiculous since all the meaning and emotion I felt for them was a waste.

Now, about the Mother.  She seemed like a lovely girl. 

I've always liked Ted.  I never thought he was a douche.  I mean, he has some quirks, sure.  But, he doesn't try to hurt people.  He's a generally optimistic guy.  

I'm glad he found Tracy.

I don't know why it was necessary to kill her.  I don't think there was a darn thing gained by it.  There wasn't some great moral at the end.  As many people have stated in their recaps and blogs about the show, Tracy was a vehicle for Ted to get kids and then Ted and Robin could be together.

Honestly, I have no idea why Ted and Robin were considered a good couple.  They were fine friends, but that's it.  

When I watched the show I wasn't quite as disappointed.  I thought all the people who hated the ending were overreacting to a television show.  But, the more I contemplate it, the less I like it.  So much so that it affects my desire to watch the reruns...especially the ones that have to do with Robin, Ted, or Barney's relationship.  

GE in GA ("Guns Everywhere" in Georgia)

Photograph by Steve LaBadessa//ZUMA Press

Governor Nathan Deal of Georgia just signed a bill into law (that had the support of both Democratic and Republican legislators) called the "Guns Everywhere" law.  Essentially, it broadens the right of citizens to carry guns into more places.  For business, schools, and places of worship the owner, school district, and congregation have to 'opt-in'.  The law also affirms the "Stand Your Ground" laws even when the person standing their ground is doing so with an illegal weapon.

I don't find any pleasure in guns and I don't understand why other people do.
I don't ever want to choose to kill someone.
People are so afraid these days - well, always.
They just want to control everything they're afraid of so much that they don't think there's any other way.

I don't respect that line of thinking - it's very short sighted.
If a gun is the way you control things you're afraid of, what happens when the criminals have bigger guns?

If the value of your life is measured only by the fact that you're breathing, maybe this is fine for you.
You will kill those who attempt to kill you and you will continue breathing.

There are better ways.

Some articles about the new gun law in Georgia:
BusinessWeek
Washington Post
The Blaze (libertarian/conservative)
NPR
FOXNews