Take a look at NYTimes photos of the year. It's stunning to be reminded of all the things that have gone on this year: the capital riot, the continuing pandemic, Joe Biden/Kamala Harris inauguration, vaccines, migration from South and Central America, weather/climate change, Trump's second impeachment trial, Delta variant, Omicron variant, the fate of democracy in America, emboldened racists, and the escalating power of the religious right and their threat to American and human rights based on their religious beliefs (abortion rights, lgbtq rights).
It feels chaotic and sad and scary. I worry these days, in the future, will be referred to as the 'good old days', or the 'calm before the storm'.
At the same time there were lots of fantastic things happening. The pandemic was a time when people reexamined their lives, made new choices, quit their jobs, or changed their life focus. While inequality became more apparent, it also inspired people to educate themselves and get involved in making solutions. The weather disasters brought climate change to the front of conversations. In the most difficult times, we often have the most possibilities.
2021 has been quite a year for me. A highlight was meeting my biological sister and aunt on my father's side. I'm still getting to know them and at the same time I feel like I've known them all my life. I graduated from the University of Washington at the end of this year. Finally.
My theme for 2021 was 'My Effort Is My Love'. I have a sense that I was mindful about pushing through with a little more effort when I otherwise wouldn't have. Small tasks at work and at home. But also, big tasks. I didn't want to finish my degree a year ago. I was done with it. I felt like I'd gotten what I wanted out of it and didn't need to finish the last three classes. I pushed on anyway. They were fantastic classes. When I was thinking about last year's theme, I had an idea that it would be about making an effort to show people I love them. I don't think I did that very well. I continued to stay isolated. School and work kept me busy.
I feel energized for what 2022 could bring now that I'm done with school. I feel the excitement of new beginnings on the horizon (that I can't quite see) and a calling to reconnect with my Higher Self (so I can envision my new path). I want to learn about creating visual 'explainers' and writing about current events. Get back to artistic pursuits? I want to read books and watch movies. I want to Make My House A Home - my home environment is comfortable for me but doesn't feel warm and inviting. I want to continue saving money and prioritizing sleep. I want to be more physically active. I want to do better with food and eating healthy.
For the New Year, I will be mindful of staying focused (even if it's for a short time) and making an effort - to take one more step to finish a task completely. Those are themes from previous years that are still useful and beneficial to my life.
The new ideas for 2022 are two: Avoid Avoidance, and Trust Myself.
How many projects or tasks are left unfinished because the next step is either scary, uncomfortable, or difficult. I avoid it. In 2022 I want to recognize when I'm 'avoiding' and think my way through to the action that is best for me.
How many newspaper or magazine articles have I saved that I'll never read? I'm usually looking for 'perfect knowledge' before I formulate my opinion on a topic. I don't trust myself to not be influenced by other people whose intentions or agendas I don't recognize. I want very much to have my own opinion.
This year, I'd like to accept the fact that I won't have perfect knowledge and I can trust myself, I can stop saving articles unless I'm specifically researching a topic related to a writing or 'explainer' project.
I often feel pressure to make a decision in a rush. But I can take a moment to check in with myself - take a deep breath - before giving an opinion or answer.
It seems extremely important, when I state my opinion or answer a question without perfect knowledge, to be open to receiving new information. I often believe I'm open to new information, but deep down the default position I start with is my own previous decision. I don't think that's being 'open'.
These are some of the ideas I want to work with in 2022.
On this last day of 2021, I want to acknowledge that we're all thinking of our wonderful Betty White. When I was a young game show enthusiast (home from school, sick) I watched her on Password and The Match Game. I saw her bawdy side on The Mary Tyler Moore show. She was a joy on The Golden Girls. We had her for a long time, but it wasn't enough.
Along with Betty White, here are some other things I'm grateful for - this year and every year...
Young people who have a lot of energy to wake up the world
Old people who have seen the way life ebbs and flows
Parents who have the courage to create humans
People who love
Babies and children who are full of possibility
Teachers who share their knowledge
Workers who give all of us food, energy, air, safety
Thinkers and Doers, Activists and Communicators who help us move along.
Musicians and Artists who open our hearts
Thank you 2021. Thank you for the days and nights I was given to dance this life. I didn't use every moment in a way that makes me proud or happy, but there were plenty more moments of love and laughter, of hope and gratitude, of presence and peace. Thank you.
I'll keep dancing this life into 2022!!!
