2016
I started the year in Tigard working on the new software
implementation. I was proud of myself for not falling apart from the stress. I
stayed for two weeks – much longer than I like.
For the next few months we must have been busy at work. I was always feeling behind the 8 ball, but
for the most part things were going well.
I started walking every morning with my neighbor and was
proud of myself for sticking to it.
I spoke up at an HOA meeting and then joined the Building
Committee.
I started going back to a dentist.
In June, Robert died.
In July, my Mom had bypass surgery.
I took care of the cat for four months.
LJB’s brain tumor came back.
Donald Trump was elected President.
None of the difficult things happened to me. Which is why, looking back, it wasn’t a
difficult year as much as it was an emotionally draining year. I’m lucky to have few responsibilities so the
emotional energy required of me to be helpful was available and I could come
back to my own home and get re-energized.
Still, I didn’t do as much as a really organized person who’s
used to all this activity would have been able to do. I did my best though.
So, the big thing of the year, after all the personal stuff,
is the surprise win of Donald Trump.
Huh? We elected Donald Trump? Yeah, he won.
I remember walking with my neighbor at the beginning of the
year assuring her he would not be elected.
Nope – never gonna happen.
Republicans are not my cup of tea, but even they wouldn’t vote for
Donald Trump.
Hillary Clinton had 3 million more votes, but Donald Trump
had the Electoral College. Once again –
screwed by the EC (2000).
How could people vote for a person who doesn’t make logical
sense?
He exemplifies so many attributes I was taught are not good,
healthy, loving. I don’t get it.
So – at this point I don’t predict he’ll do well or do
poorly. I have no idea anymore.
I have no idea.
The other surprise is that I discovered a few more deep down
subconscious things I assume about the world that make me respond in a less
than mature way; things I learned at an early age and have hung onto all these
years. Can I think of them right now?
No. But, I know I noticed. And it was surprising.
2017
What’s next for me?
At work, I want to be the expert I’m paid to be.
At home, I want to spend my time more wisely. I relish the fact that I can prioritize my
laziness above everything, but there’s a point where it becomes a
negative. 10 minutes a day and the
kitchen is clean, for instance. How many
times have I had to get things done fast, so I did. Afterwards I wonder, if it took
10 minutes to get it done now, why didn’t I do it earlier?
Financially, I want to use up the things I have before I buy
new. I’ll buy new clothes and food, of course.
But, hobby and entertainment?
Come on – I have plenty! I’m not
saying never, but more restraint, please.
I want to save money to pay for blinds, a plumber, remodeled bathroom, and
new flooring.
For me – I want to be the watcher (Eckhart Tolle), I want to
read, and write, and study. I want to
laugh and dance and have the energy to enjoy my friends and be a good family
member.
I want to feel the rules of the world – not the rules of
society, not the rules of Donald Trump Land, not the rules of my Mother. I want to know the rules of the universe –
there is a way of living in the flow of the universe – I want to know those
rules.
I think the universe rules are: Be connected, Be creative, Be kind, and Be
You.
No comments:
Post a Comment