Status Update

This is the front cover of Andrew Taylor's book of poetry "And The Weary Are at Rest".

Andrew Taylor’s collection And the Weary Are at Rest is a silken thread tying life and death together, bringing circles to their beginnings and revisiting the stages that so commonly wage in us during all the tragic and deathly moments we face. These are poems as seasons, poems as emotional states of being, poems as living.

That is from a review of the book at Chapbook Review

How did I come across this book?  A Google Images search for the word 'weary' returned the book cover as an option.  I was struck by how accurately the title describes my emotional state in the last couple days.

Although in the context of a book of poetry that deals with the weighty issues of life and death, I may be overstating my case.

My intention was to give a status of my life and thoughts today.  Not for any great or profound ideas to be examined, but because I haven't been writing in this blog lately and I want to capture what it's like to be me right now.  Will someone wonder in 50 years?  I suppose not.  But, I might.  Sometimes I think back to a period in my life and I wonder about the details...what did I think of this or that, how did I spend the moments in my life that seemed uneventful at the time, how did I pay for things?  I never thought I'd forget, but I have.

In no particular order...
I've been painting with acrylics, shopping for acrylics supplies, watching a lot of art videos, and not watching very much television.  Which seems strange to me.
I'm weary of my mistakes at work, weary of the uphill battle to make change, disappointed but still supporting Obama, sad at the ideological divide in the country right  now, dismayed that my Mother watches so much Fox News, and wondering about Haiti (why did so few people care about Haiti before the earthquake).
I'm sad for people whose lives change in a matter of moments because of earthquake, flood, tsunami, etc.  I'm aware though, that the effects of these natural earth phenomena are made more deadly partly through our own actions - overpopulation, greed, ignoring the plight of the poor, deforestation, global warming.  Life is hard enough just being a human living on planet earth - I wish we didn't make it harder on ourselves based on fear.
I've been ignoring the news for the most part - maybe I get headlines and that's it.  I don't think we should have a 'war on terror' and try to wage the war the same as we'd wage war against a specific country; this is not that era anymore.  I think we need to help people feel valued and they won't be susceptible to the negative fear-based energy.
I feel powerless to effect change on global and national events.

The best thing I can do for myself and the world is put positive energy out 'there'.
I can't do that if I feel powerless all the time.
So, I've narrowed the focus of my world.  I'm not yet sure if that means I'm burying my head in the sand, or if it's the right thing to do because we should all create positive, uplifting energy where we have the power to affect change in small ways.  Then, the big things will take care of themselves eventually.  Is eventually good enough?  I don't know.
I am Weary and I am at Rest.
For now.
I will Rise.

The process of discovering my creative side is challenging and interesting.  I've bought enough supplies - I'm starting to use them.  I'm interested to see what happens.

Yes, I'm weary - but I continue to be hopeful.