Martha Beck's "10 Rules I've Unlearned"

I enjoy Martha Beck's columns in the O Magazine. Common sense straight talk with a dash of gentle - just my style.
This month, her column includes the 10 things she's glad she's UNlearned!
Go to page 70 of the May 2010 edition of O Magazine for the full list - these are the ones I resonate with today...

1. Problems are bad
"Real problems are wonderful, each carrying the seeds of its own solution. Job burnout? It's steering you toward your perfect career. An awful relationship? It's teaching you what love means."
Eckhart Tolle would suggest there are no problems - it becomes a problem because we link an emotion to a statement of fact.
2. It's important to stay happy
"...we don't have to be happy to feel good. "It's okay to be as sad as I need to be". This kind of permission to feel as we feel - not continuous happiness - is the foundation of well-being."
Eckhart Tolle would say it's fine to acknowledge the feeling - but not to get attached to it. Let if float in and out of our awareness. No resistance.
3. I'm irreparably damaged by my past.
Sometimes I sure as heck feel that way! But...
"the very thing you're doing at this moment - questioning habitual thoughts - is enough to begin off-loading old patterns. For example, take an issue that's been worrying you ("I've got to work harder!") and think of three reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go."
Eckhart Tolle would agree...:)
5. Success is the opposite of failure
"We succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn."
Aha - learning is my downfall. I try a lot. I fail a lot. But, I'm not so good at learning. But, I will keep trying...:)
6. It matters what people think of you
"Right now, imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back."
Of course, this is a cornerstone to Eckhart Tolle. It only matters that we are true to our inner purpose.
10. Loss is terrible.
"Ten years ago I still feared loss enough to abandon myself in order to keep things stable. I'd smile when I was sad, pretend to like people who appalled me. What I now know is that losses aren't cataclysmic if they teach the heart and soul their natural cycle of breaking and healing. A real tragedy? That's the loss of the heart and soul themselves. If you've abandoned yourself in the effort to keep anyone or anything else, unlearn that pattern. Live your truth, losses be damned. Just like that, your heart and soul will return home."

Update:  I read the rest of the magazine this morning and there's LOTS of good information in it.  Overall a great issue.

Update again:  Here is a link to the full list