Seventy-sixth Day

I'm saying goodbye to two more teeth today.  I'm so sad about it.  I wish I'd taken better care of my teeth over the years so I wouldn't have to keep extracting them - or let them fall out from neglect.

It's so sad.

Thank you teeth.  I wish I'd treated you better.

My wisdom teeth (#1, #16, #17 and #32) were extracted when I was 16.  

Today, I'm losing #2 and #3

#15 is gone. 

#18 is gone.

#29 and #31 are gone

Sigh.  

I'm trying to be a 'big girl' about it today and not get overly nervous.  It's a new doctor.  Again.

I sure would be happy with a regular dentist.

My last dentist did good work as far as I know, but I felt she was a bit discombobulated and didn't explain things in a way that made me understand what was happening.  I just went along.  The rest of the work I need done she doesn't do so she referred me to another dentist.  That's fine.

The dentist I'm seeing today took a good amount of time to explain the treatment plan to me.  I appreciate it very much.

But - he's new and I don't know how he works.  

I haven't been nervous really.  Which makes me concerned that at the last minute I'll be overwhelmed with nervousness and not able to control myself.  

I remind myself that all I have to do is sit there.  

The dentist has the hard job.

If I could go back in time - even to a pretty young age - with my current world view, I'd do it, just so I could take better care of my teeth.

Although - come to think of it...with my current world view, I'd know there are some dental inventions that I'd prefer to use.  When I started going to the dentist, we leaned over to spit in the sink a lot.  And I have a feeling numbing agents have probably gotten better.

And, I'd either have to become a better cook or start eating meat again because we didn't have as many vegan options as we do now.

Yeah - I better just stick it out in the here and now.

Yesterday I drove to Tigard for Jan's retirement party.  It was a great drive.  It's been rainy for a while and I was concerned it wouldn't be a good driving day.  Lucky for me it dried up and the sun came out for a perfect driving day.  The same thing happened for SGM when she drove up here on the 4th for a day of card making - perfect driving day surrounded by lots of rainy days.

Miracle, or statistically reasonable?  

Felt like a miracle.

If I'd left the office to come home at 2:00 instead of 4:30, I would have been home by 6:00 or so (I bet) instead of 9:30.  I repeatedly tried to outsmart the traffic leaving Portland for Vancouver and failed miserably, eventually driving up to Rainier and crossing into Longview.  I should have just sat on I-5...like a 'big girl'.

Another thing I did was speak briefly at Jan's party.  I made a funny or two and mentioned how great her hugs are.  I had positive feedback from people.  That made me happy because I don't normally speak in front of large crowds.  But, no one mentioned her hugs so I had to.

I also found a home for LJB's Tardis Blanket (I gave it to him for his last birthday and he liked it).  Jan's a huge Doctor Who fan so it occurred to me as I was saying goodbye to her that I had it in the trunk.  I originally offered it to LJB's daughter and she didn't want it.  

I think it went to a good home.  

It's nearly 10:00 and my appointment is at 10:45 so....yikes. I can feel a rush of nervous adrenaline.  

I'm sending a message to the universe that I'd love some healing light and love energy right now.

Deep breath.  Off I go!

UPDATE at the end of the day...

I survived.  I wasn't overwhelmed by anxiety. I was nervous, but in a normal way. Even sitting in the chair waiting, I reminded myself that nothing was happening to be nervous about.  That worked.

I was going to write more details but I realize it doesn't benefit me to remember and live in those moments. 

After it was over I spent several hours in pain, uncomfortable with the numbness, controlling my saliva, and stopping the bleeding and being concerned about the blood clot.

I tried really hard to breathe through the pain.  It did help a bit.  That's the kind of thing that works best after practicing for a while.  

When I took my second set of Tylenol at 8:30 I finally had some relief.  

I still haven't taken any antibiotic.  I'll do that in a couple hours. I worry about that because I don't want to get nauseous.  I have a very low dose though.

Anyhow - I feel the dentist did a fine job.  I like him.  Patty is the assistant and Vivian is the receptionist.  All were very nice and I feel very comfortable with all of them.

Seventy-third Day

Amy Krouse Rosenthal

On CBS This Morning, during the headline section, we're told that this precious jewel died yesterday.  She is most recently known for writing an article in the New York Times called "You May Want to Marry My Husband" where she wrote, in her last days, of the love she shared with her husband and children.

Of course, I look up the article. Which led me to her obituary.  Which led me to a few inspirations.

She created a video called 17 Things I Made (a bed, a book, a vow, a sandwich, etc).  That's a fun idea. 

She loved Einstein's quote: "There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a  miracle."  Ordinary things happen, but it's how we perceive them that make them miracles.  Maybe they seem miraculous because we don't believe magic can be true. Or maybe we don't believe we deserve these amazing things to happen to us so it feels like a miracle. Or maybe we like to believe we are being taken care of by a higher power so when strange and wonderful things happen we attribute it to a miracle rather than a statistical event.

She wrote a book called "Encyclopedia of a Normal Life".  I have not idea what this book is about other than I believe it's a memoir, but I like this idea...everyone should have an encyclopedia of their life.

What if everything in the world that happens and is happening is about me?  What if I really AM the center of the universe, as my friend LJB would often say?

Everything in the world is for my benefit and my edification and my inspiration?

What if that is true?

And, then...what if MY life is also part of someone else's universe where they are the center of the universe and I am here to inspire them...either by being part of the multitudes they never know personally, or the person I smile at in the street?

What if the universe is all about US and us believing in ourselves and magic and the beauty in this world and the people of this world?

We are ALL the center of the universe.  One big center and we're creating all this beauty and love and sharing and caring - it's all for us...and I am one of US, so it's all for ME and my most precious self, the same way it's all for you and YOUR most precious self, and it was for Amy Krouse Rosenthal and HER better self.  We give, we take, we share, we make.  

A section from her obituary:

...even before her diagnosis, she suggested that her energy and imagination were not boundless. Her favorite line from literature, she once said, was in Thornton Wilder's play "Our Town," as spoken by the character Emily as she bids the world goodbye: "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?"
When she turned 40, Ms. Rosenthal began calculating how many days she had left until she turned 80.
"How many more times, then, do I get to look at a tree?" she asked. "Let's just say it's 12,395. Absolutely that's a lot, but it's not infinite, and I'm thinking anything less than infinite is too small a number and not satisfactory. At the very least, I want to look at trees a million more times. Is that too much to ask?"

Just like JLB, I hope she was alive every day until she died.

Check out her website here

Sixty-eighth Day

The Republican House (Paul Ryan) has submitted their healthcare 'replacement' proposal.

This is it.

I downloaded a copy as well.

The short comment I have is that it's clear the Republicans care less about presenting a health care plan that can work than about being able to say they repealed and replaced Obamacare.

Why?
1. They haven't even figured out how it will be paid for and they're already trying to pass it through the House.
2. Some conservative Republicans are against it because the plan maintains some key components of the ACA - namely the tax credits/subsidies which they call a new entitlement program.
3. As of this morning the AARP, the AMA, the American Nurses Association, the American Hospital Association, the Association of Medical Colleges, the Catholic Health Association of the US, and the Children's Hospital Association are against the plan.  Some of those groups I don't know anything about, but it sounds like they'd definitely have experience with health care.

Winners and Losers
If I lose my job I believe I'd be one of the losers. The reason the AARP is against it is because people from age 50 - 64 are the most adversely affected by the plan.

Why?  Under the ACA (Affordable Care Act), tax credits were calculated based on the cost of insurance in a person's area and their income.  The AHCA (American Health Care Act) only offers a flat tax credit based on a person's AGE.
As a result, an older person (50 - 64) who doesn't have medical insurance through work, lives in a high premium area, and is low income is the most adversely affected.  The tax credit will not cover the entirety of their insurance premium.
Conversely, the biggest winners are younger, high income people who live in an area with low premiums.  Their tax credit will cover more of their insurance premium.

Another trip up with this plan: Let's imagine you're insured through work.  You lose your job, which means you also lose your insurance.  You're shocked.  You give yourself a couple months to get yourself together.  During that time you don't have insurance because you're afraid you don't have enough money.  A couple months later you put your life back together and attempt to get insurance.  Because you have a couple months without insurance, you now have to pay 30% MORE for your insurance than other people in your exact situation have to pay.  Why?  Because you allowed your insurance to lapse.  You get penalized for not getting any insurance during those two months.  This is intended to 'encourage' no lapse in coverage.

Sounds like an individual mandate if you ask me.  And that's the complaint about the ACA that I heard the most.

That's it for today.


P.S.
The website that promotes the AHCA says the reason the ACA is bad is that premiums have increased by an average of 25 percent
Note:  Of the more than 90 percent of Americans who have health insurance, most get it from their job or the government. Premium growth has been LOW for those groups in the last few years.  The remainder buy it themselves either directly or through the ACA Marketplace.  It's the people who buy it themselves who are seeing the rise in premiums. But, of those, 85% the people buying insurance through the ACA Marketplace are receiving a subsidy so they aren't affected by increases. So the only people affected by increasing premiums are 15% of people using the ACA, and the people who buy their insurance directly from the insurance company.  Those two groups account for THREE percent of all Americans.

Sixty-seventh Day

On tonight's edition of CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley, Scott Pelley interviewed Leon Panetta and began his interview with this lead-in:

"In the last few weeks the President has told his military that there are terrorist attacks no one knows about because the press covers them up, he's described the news media as the 'enemy of the American people', he has likened his own intelligence agencies to Nazis, and now we have the wiretapping charge against President Obama. Is it appropriate to ask whether the President is having difficulty with rationality?"

Wow - that's quite a statement.

I don't know why more people aren't asking it.  And we know the answer is yes, so why isn't something being done about it?

Where are the Republicans?

They're in charge right now.

Here is Leon Panetta's response and the rest of the conversation:

"Scott, the coin of the realm for any President is trust; trust of the American people in the credibility of that President.
"And when he says the things that he says, in particular this allegation about wiretapping that has no bit of evidence to support it, it raises concerns about trust in the President.  Because there are one or two conclusion you draw.
One is that he says these things knowing that they're not true in order to divert the public.  And if he's doing that he's misusing the powers of the Presidency.
Or, he truly believes that they are true when indeed they're not true, and he hasn't tried to find out the truth which then shows a real lack of judgment.
Either way, I think it undermines and weakens the strength of the Presidency in this country.

Scott Pelly:
"How is this calculated in Moscow, and Beijing, and Pyongyang North Korea?"

Leon Panetta:
"Well that's the greatest danger.  You know, in many ways we've seen the President say the things he's done and we often kind of move on.
But, the danger is, what if something should happen that requires the President of the United States to take action?  For example we're dealing with North Korea and the threats from North Korea.  What if the President decides that we have to take military action as a result of that? Or what if we find out that Iran is actually developing a nuclear weapon that requires military action?
He's got to stand up and tell the world, and this country that that's required, when indeed his credibility is now subject to question.  I think that is raising the most serious danger with regards to the ability of this President to relate to this most serious world."

Special Edition - International Women's Day

This is fantastic!

KNOW THE POWER OF WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP
SHE MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Sixty-fifth Day

In the news today:

The United States is in trouble.

On Saturday, the Republican President tweeted out that Obama had a wiretap at Trump Tower during the election.  

It seems outrageous and makes no sense at all.  

If it's true, that means Trump Tower had someone who was in cahoots with the Russians at Trump Tower, which is what Donald Trump is trying to distract us from, so why would he bring it up?

If it's false, it's just the most irresponsible thing for a President to do.

Maybe his allegation will be that it was an illegal wiretap?  

On CBS This Morning, Jason Chaffetz (R-UT), head of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform said the Republican President has access to all kinds of intelligence so Chaffetz accepts that it must be true, though he hasn't seen any evidence of it.

Oh - so Republicans believe it!?!?  Even though the Republican President has made outrageous claims before and none of them panned out?  He said Obama wasn't born in the USA, he said thousands of Muslims in America cheered after 9/11, he said there were millions of people at his inauguration, and he said 3 million people voted illegally in his election (he would've won the popular vote if the 'illegals' hadn't voted).  Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head. He doesn't have evidence of any of it and nothing ever comes of the accusations.

People are calling for a Special Prosecutor - someone not associated with the campaign, the administration, or the Republicans.  

There are so many ins and outs and weird behaviors going on related to the Trump campaign and the Russians, and Trump has always had strange comments about Putin that it seems imperative we get to the bottom of this.

The only reason none of that other stuff got investigated is because we have a Republican congress.  

In other news:

A private Facebook page of the Marines (I don't know if it's a sanctioned page or an informal one) has been sharing nude photos of fellow female service members and making disrespectful (and illegal?) comments about the women.  It included their full names and where they are.  

These are the Marines!

How can this behavior have happened?  There are 30,000 members of the Facebook page and these are people who are supposed to DEFEND US!  They're the criminals and yet I'm supposed to TRUST THEM?  

And more:

North Korea fired four ballistic missiles into the Sea of Japan over the weekend.

It's their response to an annual 'wargames' exercise that Japan and the United States routinely engage in.  North Korea believes it's a practice for an invasion of North Korea.

It comes less than a month after the half brother of the current leader of North Korea was murdered in a Malaysian airport. It's common for this (and former) North Korean leader(s) to murder opponents or people who might try to take away their power.  

And in the other corner:

Here's what the White House has done as of February 28, 2017

Update:  From The Washington Post's The Upshot this morning:

"Large portions of the Republican caucus embrace a kind of policy nihilism.  They criticize any piece of legislation that doesn't completely accomplish conservative goals, but don't build coalitions to devise complex legislation themselves.

The roster of congressional Republicans includes lots of passionate ideological voices.  It is lighter on the kind of wonkish, compromise-oriented technocrats who move bills."

The article goes on to remind us that the Republican Party hasn't made any domestic policy since the early years of George W Bush's first term (expand Medicare to cover prescription drugs, No Child Left Behind, and Sarbanes-Oxley)

"If you make a career opposing even the basic work of making the government run it's hard to pivot to writing major legislation.  In the opposition, its easy to be strident and pure in your views.  Legislative sausage-making requires compromise and flexibility and focus on the gritty details."

  

Sixty-fourth Day

Ted - from John's apartment patio

I had a productive week at work.  Things were moving along, getting ticked off my To Do list.  Felt good.

Yesterday SGM drove up from Portland to visit.  We made cards.  Honestly, I can't make cards at all even though I have a bunch of supplies!  But, she made five cards sitting right there in a matter of 5 hours that also included a walk to buy lunch!  What's up with that?

My current theory is that I don't have enough patience when I'm creating.  I like to see the end product so I rush through it and make mistakes.  I never have something I can send.

On the other hand, SGM didn't move so slowly that she couldn't finish anything in 5 hours.  She finished FIVE cards!!!!

I made mistakes on all of mine.  Except the last one.  But, I haven't finished the last one because I'm going so slow.  I'm making one mark per hour it seems.

Too fast, too slow!  Grrrrrrr. 

I'll attempt to finish mine today.

I will say that while I was moving slow, I was enjoying the process more, so that's a benefit.

I volunteered to be the condo's building committee chairperson for at least a year.  I hope that will be fun and I can do a good job.

This week on my plate:  Today go to Mukilteo to check on a couch for my niece, Monday meet with garden planter people (??), Thursday meet with door people, Friday meet with courtyard bidders, Saturday meet Mom at her tax guy's place.  And work full time.

(March 15 is building committee meeting, March 16 is Jan's retirement party in Portland, and March 22 is condo meeting).

Busy month for me - I usually have much less of my time spoken for!!  But - what has that gotten me?  I'm lazier and lumpier - but not happier.

So, I'll be busy(ish) for a bit and see how that goes.

By the way - our President sends tweets that boggle the mind.  They're immature and childish.  

It's so irritating that it distracts us from the policy changes he's making.  

I'm watching Fox News periodically to see what the other side is thinking.  I'd be so embarrassed if I voted for the current Republican Administration.  People who did, they KNEW he was going to be a problem but they wanted to vote for their personal interests - not the country.  

Fifty-ninth Day

Things happened in the last week.  I didn't write though because the computer wasn't in the place I wanted it.  I am that damn lazy.

Also - lots of 'feels' this week. It was overwhelming.

Thursday: dinner with LJB's family with some drama, Saturday: watched Moonlight, Sunday: LJB's memorial - excellent.

I find I'm missing LJB more, now that all the formalities are done with.  

I have to make sure I don't deify him.

He had a bigger impact on me than I allowed myself to feel.  

I wish I could have been a better friend. 

Fifty-third Day

Here's something interesting:  Scientists using NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope have discovered seven earth size planets orbiting the Trappist-1 star about 40 light years away.  Three of the planets (now known as E, F, and G) are in the 'habitable zone'.

This is the NASA presentation on You Tube

While I watched the scientists talk about this discovery I was filled with excitement and I felt like my head would explode with the amazing possibilities.

I was thinking about the scientists and the creativity and dedication it took to discover this really cool thing - for them and for all of us.

I am often overwhelmed by the intelligence, focus, creativity, drive, and curiosity that people exhibit when they discover things or work together on a project or find any kind of outlet for all that potential inside.

I was thinking to myself that I wish I could do cool things too!  I want to  make videos and video documentaries and take photos and inspire people and collaborate and read and write and design and explore.  All these wonderful things.  

I've had a lifetime to do them but I just don't know how.

I can't even get a project off the ground at work.

Which demoralizes me and frustrates me and it makes me find my safe place and just watch other people do things.

I'm easily discouraged.

But, watching those scientists, I know it's possible.  

My niece got a job yesterday in her field and it sounds like a great opportunity.  In a text message she said to me..."I'm really excited to be moving forward. To prove myself.  I'm really ready!"

I'm so taken by her enthusiasm and this idea she has to 'prove' herself.  I hope she means to 'prove' herself to herself. I think that's what she means.  She'll discover her own power and it will give her the confidence to always step a little further than she feels comfortable, because she's 'proven' to herself that she can handle it.  

I feel discouraged too easily.  

This is the feeling that made me buy all the craft items - it was an attempt to use this energy and excitement for something.  It didn't work though.  

I know if I could find a way to DIG DEEP, I could make things I can be excited about.

I don't know how to, though.

I'll keep trying to figure it out.  For now - this is what's on my mind.

Learn more about Exoplanets on NASA's website here

Fifty-first Day

This comic strip makes me chuckle.  Zeebra and Crocs are my favorite.

I didn't post yesterday. I remembered, but wasn't in front of my computer so I decided not to worry about it. And there ya go. Yay - I'm not a slave to the idea of posting every day!!!

***

  

Yesterday I watched the first four episodes of Doctor Who, Season 9.  I have them saved on my DVR.  I recently figured out how to easily turn Closed Captioning on and off.  Yay.  I miss a lot when I watch Doctor Who without CC.  I get the gist of things, but not the fun details. 

I had a thought about the Doctors on Doctor Who. Each of the doctors has their personality quirks and even a specific 'look'.  They like different foods and have unique interests.  The current doctor loves to play the guitar.

It must be that these personality quirks come from the BODY the Doctor is in. When he regenerates he isn't familiar with the body or its likes and dislikes. He has to discover it.  

Also, a Time Lord can regenerate into all kinds of bodies - men, women, or children.

It looks like the Time Lord doesn't have a choice.

Is the Doctor taking over these bodies from people?  Where does the body come from? 

Is the Doctor similar to Dax on Deep Space Nine?

Or maybe the Doctor is taking over the bodies of people who died.

This all sounds kinda icky, so I'm curious how that's all supposed to work.

***

Space-X and NASA successfully sent a rocket to the International Space Station yesterday.  And, the reusable portion landed without a hitch.  

This is fantastic.  

I purchased 1 share of Solar City only because it's an Elon Musk company and I wanted to be part of Space-X.  That turned into 2 shares of Tesla..and I bought one more.  That's the most I can afford.  But, I want to be part of space exploration and support people who are curious.

Today I wondered, though...is it good that the country ceded this over to a private corporation?  

I'm not sure.  It's certainly our way.

But, is it right?  I felt more comfortable when it was a government operation. If something was discovered it was all of ours.

I'm not sure NASA worked that way in practice so maybe whether it's the government or a private corporation it will all be the same

I worry we'll 'pollute' space the way we do Earth. Or that we'll take over civilizations the same way we did here on Earth. 

***

This article explains how twisted and convoluted the Republican Administration is (my highlight...)

Over the weekend, small man Donald Trump, wounded by record-worst approval ratings and international scorn over the first month of his presidency, retreated to the embrace of his most ardent supporters by holding rallies in Florida and South Carolina. There, he did the Donald Trump thing: yelling inaccurately about crime, the media, jobs, and how he won the election. (We know you won, Donald. We fucking know.) He also offered one of his administration’s signature made-up tragedies by referencing some sort of attack in Sweden, a thing which did not occur anywhere except for within his frazzled, post-factual mind. Since then, his campaign has spun that lie into a claim that, while there may not have been a specific attack in Sweden to reference, the media is actually the ones lying, because they are claiming that Sweden is safe. (Which they aren’t; they are just claiming that a terrorist attack did not happen there on Friday.)

Forty-ninth Day

I watched The Arrival today.
(Are you going to watch it?  Don't read any more of this.  I don't give any details, but just my words alone will tell you more than I would want you to know.  Luckily I didn't know anything going in except it was about the arrival of aliens.)
I'll write my other stuff here towards the top and leave the movie stuff at the bottom to help you avoid the temptation.

***

Salon Gals this morning.

I was reminded that the thing we're protecting - the thing worth saving - is the constitution and the rule of law.  Whether that's the United States or some other country, the constitution and rule of law are worth fighting for.
Also, SGM is using the words Republican Administration instead of the man's name.  Partly so the man's name is not used, and partly to put the responsibility where it belongs - with Republicans. She got that from a Facebook post by Martin Luther King's daughter about how to deal with our current political climate.

***

Something else I thought about this morning - before seeing the movie:  I have three resources in my life: Time, Money, Energy.  I need Money to purchase Fuel to generate Energy.  I need Money to have Time.  I need Energy to spend Time.
How do I spend my resources?  Every day I choose.

***

I didn't get as much done today as I hoped, but it was a fine day.

***

Stop reading now.
HA!  I can't believe I'm going to all this trouble - I don't have any 'blog readers'.
I'm concerned someone will accidentally open this page while searching for something on the movie.

***

And now - back to The Arrival

Fantastic. Loved it!
So interesting.

Time and Language.

Language defines how we think.  How we think defines our language.
Time is flowing.

The concepts in this movie get my adrenaline going.
What would happen if an alien race came to our Planet?  How would we react?
Language and words matter - our current political climate is testament to that.
Time flows in all directions - Deep Space Nine, The Prophets; they didn't understand our linear time.

I'm glad there are people who can use their words to explain how I feel. Here are two:

Review on Roger Ebert.com

From Nerdwriter on YouTube - Arrival: A Response to Bad Movies

Forty-eighth Day

June 1, 2014 from a park in Juanita, I think

I hope to get a lot done this weekend.  

I don't respect how Donald Trump is being our President. 

I want to say more, but don't have words.

I'm going to leave it there today.

Forty-seventh Day

Donald Trump at his press conference 02/16/2017

I didn't see the press conference yet. It lasted an hour and seventeen minutes.  Yikes - not sure when I'll get to watch it.  

I've been watching FOX News discuss it - particularly O'Reilly. 

Apparently, Trump spent a good portion of his time talking about the media and how horrible they are - they are liars.

FOX News is on board with that.  O'Reilly said that Trump has delegitimized the press so much that even if they told the truth 50% of the people wouldn't believe it.

Chris Wallace countered that the media isn't making up the facts. The problems Trump has are a result of how he handled the Flynn problem and the people he's selected to be in his cabinet.

O'Reilly is really playing up the idea that the reason media is AGAINST Trump is because they're the mouthpiece of the Democratic Party.

This is so odd.

O'Reilly doesn't think his network is part of the 'media' that's a mouthpiece of the Democratic Party because he's on the network that has been a mouthpiece of the Republican Party for years.

I think the reason the media seems to be 'against' Trump is because they're not falling in line with everything he says.

So much of it doesn't make any sense.

When I have a moment to read the transcript or watch the press conference I'll try to list all the items that don't make sense.

***

Special Edition

Dear Vinyl Cafe community,

We wondered whether we should send this to you by email. But we decided that we would, because friends always make difficult times easier to bear. Many of you have been with us from the beginning, and after all these years that is what we consider you: friends. So we wanted to make sure you heard this news from us. 

Sending you lots of love, from our little Vinyl Cafe family to yours.

Jess Milton, Producer
Meg Masters, Story Editor
Julie Penner, Music Producer
Louise Curtis, Associate Producer

***

A MESSAGE TO THE VINYL CAFE COMMUNITY It is with deep sadness that the Vinyl Cafe family announces that Stuart McLean passed away today, February 15th, 2017, at age 68. We are heartbroken.  But we are also finding comfort in memories of our dear friend.  Stuart always emphasized that the world is a good place, full of good people, trying to do their best. He believed in people’s extraordinary capacity for love and generosity. And he had faith in our ability to work together for the common good.  He was, in other words, firmly committed to celebrating the positive, joyful and funny side of life. Stuart assured us that even in difficult times, we can find things to be grateful for and ways to laugh. Now that he is gone, we will try hard to do just that.  Stuart connected us – to our country and to each other. He entertained us, he made us think, he made us smile. Occasionally he made us cry. And, through all of that, he reminded us that life is made up of small moments. We never know which ones will be forgotten and which ones will stay with us forever.  So today, and hopefully every day, we’re going to celebrate Stuart’s life by trying to make each moment count and by being grateful for all of them. We are certainly grateful for each and every moment we shared with Stuart.  We will miss him.

PUBLIC TRIBUTE There will be a public tribute at a later date. The family requests privacy at this time.    DONATIONS The family requests that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to: The Stuart McLean Camp Kanawana Fund  Stuart worked at Camp Kanawana for five summers, and he often said that it changed his life. This fund will help children and teens without the financial means to attend Camp YMCA Kanawana, a community where they learn to care for themselves, each other and the environment.  *** It was only a short time ago that he stopped doing his show, and now this.  We lost a lot of people in 2016.  But, 2017 has started apace - lots of loved ones, plus LJB and Stuart McLean. Stuart McLean - CBC

Forty-sixth Day

These are the trees outside my apartment when I first moved back to the Seattle area in 2010.  I love those trees. They 'danced' in the wind.  This is from January 1, 2011.  I probably have more pictures of them in the different seasons.  

Speaking of that apartment...I look back on it fondly.  I rarely used the living room.  I left my couch and recliner chair back in Oregon so I didn't have living room furniture.  I had a TV and a craft table so sometimes I sat there to watch television.  I watched the trees from the bedroom.  That's where I saw them most - though, that photo is from the balcony off the living room.

I haven't quite made friends with my current apartment yet.  It's okay because it took me a while to feel settled in my Beaverton apartment as well.

On the other hand - I have to stop acting like I have all the time in the world to adjust to new things - I'm getting old.  Time may be short.  Or not.  Who knows.

***

I'm getting into a bad, bad rut - just as I described the other day...sleep, work, watch television/surf Internet.

Surfing the internet is as bad as channel surfing in the old days.  A waste of time.

I'm not even cleaning the kitchen!  

I gotta shape up!!!

***

I keep looking at the tree picture - it really soothes me.

Forty-fifth Day

"I know he'd be a poorer man if he never saw an Eagle fly"

Just saw this post on the blog Dreaming About Other Worlds (which I think I've now linked to twice and I only saw the blog for the first time a short time ago!)

It was a nice post about the immigrant experience.

Besides that it reminded me that I enjoy John Denver music.  I'm sorry we lost John Denver so young; it was 20 years ago in October and he was only 53 when he died.

I don't have anything of note to report today.  

I work, I call my mother, I get ready for bed, I sleep.  

I work, I call my mother. I get ready for bed, I sleep.

I work. I call my mother. I get ready for bed, I sleep.

And through it - there is television and the internet and my own disappointment.

HA! - I'm not quite as disappointed as that sounds, but it seemed very dramatic so I wrote it.

It is for now - my life. 

It will change. 

Because that's what I do.

I don't change radically - I don't change quickly - but at some point...

Forty-fourth Day

January 5, 2014

This afternoon I went to Issaquah to pick up some stamps I purchased (shh - don't tell, they were 20% off). I stopped at Michael's afterward to pick up some jute.  

MFJ called to see how I was doing re LJB and all that.

I sat in my car and watched SUV's go in and out of that really busy parking area, while chatting it up.

I explained my mixed emotions and feelings about LJB and everything surrounding his death.  

And, I mentioned that I wasn't sure if anything happens after you die because I felt kind of empty.  I don't feel any spiritual connection to LJB right now. 

MFJ talked about how important it is - if we assume there really isn't anything after death - to appreciate the beautiful moments in this life for what they are - beautiful and now.

The way he was talking reminded me of a poem I picked up when I was a teenager.

If you want to be happy

Begin where you are

Don't wait for some rapture

That's future and far

Begin to be joyous

Begin to be glad

And soon you'll forget

You were ever sad.

I took that from a book called Apples of Gold that my Grandma got me when I was a teenager full of angst and longing to fit in.  I was very sensitive and my feelings were hurt all the time because of - well, junior high and high school.  

I saw this poem and it made me think if I didn't want to walk around like a sad sack with my feelings hurt all the time, I could think about just choosing to be happy.

It helped.

(As a side note, my college friends Kathy and Melanie - English majors at the time - called my favorite poem 'trite' when I told them about it when I was 19 or 20)

It didn't occur to me until I was in my 30's that the poem mentioned the Rapture and was a call to Christians to forget about what they might get in heaven - they should try to be happy here on Earth.

And now - here it was again.  It sprung to mind very quickly while I listened to MFJ talk and thought about appreciating things here and now.  I've had this conversation for years with MFJ as we talked about Eckhart Tolle.  But, that poem hadn't crossed my mind.

But, this afternoon it did and I felt that power of living in the moment and for a little bit it felt like a little miracle because it made me think it came to me because someone (LJB? Grandma?) wanted me to know that there really IS something else beyond.  They were sending me a little reminder by way of that poem.  

Even though the poem is about living in this moment with no regard for what heaven may bring us in the hereafter, it was - for me in that moment - a message from the hereafter to be happy with these moments.  

(Honestly, there was a flash of insight at that moment that brought it all full circle for me, and right now I can't remember what that was - that elusive spiritual insight that if we don't catch right away is hard to describe with words and memory).

I felt a truly spiritual connection and got a little bit of a teary eye. I thanked MFJ because I felt like because of that conversation I had been reminded there IS more to this life than Earth - but it doesn't matter right now.  We should still enjoy this life.

On the way home (west on I-90) I had the special pleasure of seeing the Olympic Mountains rising up beyond the skyline of Seattle and in my rearview mirror I saw the Cascade Mountains.

That was another little message from LJB, I think.

And it made me happy.

(Even as I'm writing this I feel a bit of the teary eye - it's love shining through)

Forty-third Day

Just watched the season premiere of John Oliver's show on HBO.

It's all about Truth

Donald Trump has his own truth which isn't the objective truth.

After watching the show I thought it sounded good to watch a movie - something easy (Trump makes life difficult)

Let's start On Demand with the Free Movies section.

Jerry Maguire - seen it.  Next...

Are We There Yet? - extremely unlikable children. Ice Cube stars as a single guy who doesn't like kids and his romance with a single Mom of two sassy little kids with attitude (who have attitude because they hope their Mom and Dad will get back together again - aww).  I suspect this will end as we all know it will.  I'm bailing around the time when Ice Cube offers to take her kids somewhere (24 minutes in FXM time) I guess it will be a trip with lots of hijinks ending with love and understanding between the guy and the kids.  Oh and the first five minutes was a Lincoln commercial.  You know I don't really mind sponsorships like that.  They used to do it in the old days of television.  I have a knee jerk reaction about it only 'cause I was a teenager in the 70's when commercialism was not cool.  Nowadays bands make lots of money and get recognition by letting their songs be used in commercials.  That was unheard of in my younger days, but even Bob Dylan let one of his songs be used in a commercial.  So, as he says The times they are a' changing.  Next...

The Brothers Solomon - Will Arnett and Will Forte.
Update on 02/13/2017 - movie was written by Will Forte.  I enjoy his sense of humor for the most part.  But - I fell asleep.  It turned out the movie was about the two brothers trying to get a baby for their father in a coma; he wanted grandchildren.
I won't continue watching it because it wasn't that interesting to me.

Forty-second Day

Babylon 5 - The Gathering, 

Back in the winter of 2008 to 2009 I watched Babylon 5 (and even wrote Blogger posts on it - with the label "What I Watch").  Today, I felt like watching 'The Gathering'.  I don't recall if I watched this back then, but I know I didn't see it when I watched the original airing of Babylon 5 back in the 90's.
As noted in previous posts, I didn't watch the first couple seasons as they aired, I only jumped on board in season two or three.

I enjoyed watching it this afternoon.  There's a pretty rich story in the series and while I don't remember the details, I felt like I was learning things I needed to know for the rest of the show.

A couple of the actors didn't make it to the main series (because the series didn't start until more than a year after this pilot).  That was interesting.

For a detailed commentary on Babylon 5: The Gathering, see  this blog: "Dreaming About Other Worlds" 

***

Otherwise, I notice that today, even though I tried really hard to play with an Altenew stamp set, Tulip, I really only did a couple tries, sat in the same chair I sit in when working, and mostly watched Babylon 5 and listened to Amicus (a Slate podcast about the courts).

***

I slept for hours last night - I think nearly 12, at least 11.  I woke up from a weird and interesting dream that I was able to write out.  I'm not sure if it was a message about my friend LJB, a message from my friend LJB, or just a musing on family.  It involved my natural mother and lots of brothers and sisters who enjoy playing games (the fun kind, not "mind games"). Or did it involve LJB's family?  Not sure.

***

FYI  - the teeth on my right side are really sensitive and have been for the last week.  They're not sensitive to heat or cold, but to pressure.  I can't afford to fix them - but I'm also too scared to fix them.  I think if I had the chance to go back in time, one of the things I'd do differently is take better care of my teeth.  It's no fun.
***

My Mother was invited to a tea today with some people she doesn't know very well.  She was very excited about it and has been planning her outfit for more than a week.
I found that endearing.

It's also something I NEVER do - I try NOT to give all that attention to something.  It makes me more nervous to put that much effort into something.  On the other hand - it sure is nice to be prepared to make a nice impression.
I think I should do it more.
I usually wing things and then pass it off if I'm not as well prepared as I could have been.
I'm not proud of it.
When SGM and her husband came to visit recently I hadn't  prepared a restaurant to go to.  That works for me because I don't care about eating at restaurants  very much.  But, I wish I'd spent a little more time trying to make them comfortable.  I didn't.  We ended up at a pizza place.

So - I think I should follow my mother's example in this regard.  Surprise, surprise.

***

I got a call earlier this morning from my neighbor who I haven't seen in a while.  We usually catch up with each other in the hall once or twice a month.  But, we haven't recently.  So, she called.  I'd been thinking about making her a card and slipping it under her door - just to say hello.  (See?  I have good IDEAS to be thoughtful).  Anyway - she said there was talk about me during their Friday gathering last night as a possible board member.  They were saying positive things.  That was very nice and made me feel good.   I'm not going to run for the board because that's too much work.  I think being the Building Committee chairperson is enough work for me - especially now that I looked in the Red Book to find out what the duties are!!  I get to be organized, so that's fun.

***

A little more 'chatty' today than I intended.  Sorry to all my blog readers - you know who you are - for being so self-indulgent.
Have a great day! :)

Forty-first Day

Japanese Garden at washington Park in Portland, OR June 20, 2005

I need to take more current day photos!


Another work day.
I noticed it's not dark at 5:00 so that's cool.
I've been so chilly this week (snow early, rain following, today lots of wind) - I finally remembered I need to 'tape up' my fireplace to prevent cold wind coming into the house.  I did it on Wednesday and have noticed everything is a bit warmer.
I'm looking forward to this weekend - pretty free and easy so far.

Nothing else to say right now.

Have a great day!

Fortieth Day

The other day (and over the course of several days), I watched The Big Short.  I was reminded of Credit Default Swaps, and CDO's and bundling mortgages.  This was the story of our mortgage crash as told from the eyes of the investors who profited.  

It was sorta interesting.  I didn't feel invested in any of the people so for that reason, it wasn't all that compelling.  But, it did bring to mind all the crap the banks and government people and marketing people and investment people did to really eff with the people of America who didn't realize what was going on. 

Really a sad day for our government.  

I wonder how many 'victims' of this crash voted for Trump?  

Those are the people we need to educate.  Honestly.  

They were taken in by the government marketing campaign that everyone should own a home and they trusted the bankers who gave them too good to be true loans.  Now, they're trusting Trump to save them from the horrible government they think did them wrong.

I am curious how much of an overlap there is in those two populatiions:  people who took loans they knew they couldn't afford, and people who voted for Trump.  

I'm not suggesting that those are the people who are especially at fault for the state of things - the bankers and investors had intention to use people's trust in them to make money for themselves and screw everybody else.  That's despicable.  

But, they are the people we can talk to.  Explain.  They aren't stupid - they just haven't been told the story in a way that makes sense to them.

Or - they lack impulse control and have no control over their emotions. That's another possibility.

In any event - the movie brought back some memories of learning about the mortgage crisis.  If I cared enough, I'd link back to posts I'm sure I made in 2008 or 2009 about this.

***

And in other news...the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals did not overturn the stay of Donald Trump's Executive Order by a vote of 3-0.  Yay!  I think people were predicting a 2-1 vote against, but this is much better - unanimous.  Yay...:)

Donald Trump should just rewrite his Executive Order.  It was sloppy and not narrow enough.  And, he's made a point to talk about a Muslim  Ban so no one will believe anything he says about this issue.  He made his own  mess.  Idiot.